UnNews:Minister says only Doctor Who can save science, world

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7 January 2007

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LONDON, (Sunday Telegraph) — The Minister for Science, Malcolm Wicks, appointed to the role by Prime Minister Harriet Jones in November, announced today that only Doctor Who can save science.

Science has been under threat since earlier this week, when a group of aliens landed in London (for the third time this year), and demanded that all the scientists in the world be brought to them, for fattening and eventually, it is thought, lunch.

Wicks called on Doctor Who to arrive and save the day in an improbable yet educational manner. The last sighting of Doctor Who was on Tuesday, when he was spotted wearing a very colourful scarf and defeating an alien invasion in a Welsh quarry. Attempts to contact Doctor Who then proved ineffective - rumours suggest he talked darkly of the Bleinovich Limitation Effect and the Total Bollocks Overdrive and made his excuses.

Further plans of the aliens are unclear, but it is possible they are planning to take over the world, or maybe just Britain. Wicks has expressed the hope that Doctor Who will arrive before the Monday deadline for execution of the hostages, as only Doctor Who can save science, and the world. However, Derek Bell, the chief executive of the Association of Science Education, said: "We all are grateful to Doctor Who, but ministers would need to be careful to avoid relying on him too much. Why not set up some alien-fighting organization of our own, possibly based in Cardiff, considering the aliens apparent fondness for Welsh quarries."

Doctor Who is 953.

Sources

• Doctor Who can help save science, says minister, Sunday Telegraph, January 7, 2007