UnNews:Marriots says, "The slut begged for it"

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

17 August 2009

STAMFORD, Connecticut -- A woman who was raped at gunpoint in front of her children has been exposed by the lawyers for Marriott as a careless slut, who took no precautions, dressed provocatively, and frankly, begged for it.

Alleged victim of rape, who admits that she carried no gun, hired no guards, had no bullet proof vest, but still deliberately went into the high crime area of Marriott's hotel in Stamford, Conn. - and with her kids!

The woman - who was nameless given her status as a rape victim until Marriott's legal staff sent intimidatory subpoenas to all of her family and friends, including a babysitter of her kids - was walking in the garage of the hotel with her children, actually attempting to go to her vehicle, without being escorted by her husband, father, brother or even a betrothed.

"What was this painted strumpet doing without an escort? Proper ladies do not go about unattended.", said Dick Cranium, Chief Legal Counsel for Marriott's. "She goes down to our garage by herself, she might just as well hold up a sign saying, 'rape me'. Given that she actually took her children with her, we question her ability to even be a mother."

It was while in the garage owned by Marriotts that a rapist came up from behind her and put a gun to her back. "You'll note that at no point did she fight.", said Dick Cranium. "She had opportunity all her life to learn martial arts, but deliberately chose not to do so. She couldn't even be bothered to wear a bullet proof vest, actually expecting not to need one at our facility. How careless was that? Well, it was more then careless, it was negligent. In fact, it was more then negligent, she was flat out begging for it."

The rapist - though by Marriott's reasoning, he could hardly be called that, even if he did confess when arrested, and some dumb jury convicted him of it, and some heartless judge gave him twenty years - then forced her into her vehicle, with her kids, and raped her, threatening to kill her children if she didn't comply.

"Here's where you can see how badly the slut wanted it", said Dick Cranium, "She knew she was still of childbearing age, clearly even if he had shot one of them, she'd have had a spare, and the ability to breed a replacement. Hell, she didn't even call out till afterward, supposedly over this fear of losing a kid or two!"

Clearly this woman was under the impression that she was in safe place like Tijuana, Singapore or Boston's Combat Zone. In reality though, she was in a Marriotts in Stamford, Conn., long known by all travellers to be a cesspit of vice, filth and rape. Or at least such is being argued by Marriott's lawyers.

This reporter wishes to join with Marriott's, though, and only hopes that no judge or jury allows this avaricious slut to profit off of her own negligence and possible solicitation to prostitution. This reporter can't see why an internationally renowned hotel should have to pay out the nose, raising our hotel rates, simply because some woman feels that they had some kind of duty to keep her safe on their own property.

Sources

• Staff "Hotel Calls Rape Victim Careless" WFSB Eyewitness News 3, August 14, 2009