UnNews:Marijuana may stave off Alzheimer's, results hard to see

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

6 October 2006

Now available on your grocer's shelves.

Weed, California - Good news for aging hippies: smoking pot may stave off Alzheimer's disease. Bad news: they're not sure there's anything to remember.

Researchers at the Treehouse Holistic Center for Research in California found that marijuana's active ingredient, dudette-9-tetra-hydro-wow-man-cannabinol, or THC, can prevent the memory loss, impaired decision-making, and diminished language and movement skills characterized by the onset of Alzheimer's. Curiously, these are also symptoms of smoking weed.

Researchers said their discovery could lead to more people smoking pot.

"We're not advocating smoking dope, but, man it won't hurt anyone to try it," said researcher Tommy Chong, a "chemist" at TCH Research in Weed, Calif. "It would be nice to do more animal studies along these lines, and people are animals too, right?"

The results of the treatment may be hard to notice however. "These hep-cats don't know nothing in the first place, what does it matter if they lose their memory?" wondered Timothy Rubin, visiting Weed to try some of the "local produce".

Sources

• Yahoo News "Marijuana's Key Ingredient Might Fight Alzheimer's, man" Yahoo News, October 6, 2006