UnNews:Man held for insulting Bush

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15 August 2006

Michael Moore is accused of treason and will likely be detained indefinitely at scenic Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

HOLLYWOOD, LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA: An American man is in police custody after allegedly making insulting remarks about President George W. Bush. Michael Moore was arrested at the weekend at a police roadblock, the state-sponsored FoxNews reports. Mr. Moore, a director of documentary films, is expected be indefinitely detained as an "enemy combatant" on Wednesday and never receive the "speedy public trial" the U.S. Constitution promised him. He is to be charged under the USA PATRIOT Act, which makes it punishable by indefinate detainment and torture to "undermine the authority of or insult the president. I mean, seriously, we're at war with terrorists! Support our Troops, you heathens!"

"The suspect was very un-cooperative, abusive and made derogatory remarks against the president of the United States, the success of the Iraq war, and the involvement of the Bush Administration in 9/11," FoxNews quoted secret police spokesman Alberto Gonzales as saying. "He also faces a charge of resisting arrest and insulting a cleric of Westboro Baptist Church." Westboro Baptist Church has been the established religion of the U.S. since Bush took office in 2001.

People convicted under the law in question normally receive a short jail or community service sentence, or a fine. However, due to the severity of this offense and his history of Liberal remarks, Moore will likely face Abu Ghraib-style prison torture, which is the standard punishment for political or religious dissidents in the United States.