UnNews:MPAA cracks down on illegal gene sequence

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

3 May 2007

Some people, such as this one, may possess illegal DNA.

Hollywood, CA -- The Motion Picture Association of America today announced that they have identified an illegal gene sequence within the DNA of some humans. When converted from Base₄ amino acid chains to a Base₁₆ number, the sequence AAGC TTGC ACAC AAAG GCTC CTCA TGAT CCGT TCGA CAAC CCCG TACC CGAT CCCG GAGA TAAA represents a code which can be used to hack the AACS encryption on HD-DVD and Blu-Ray discs, and is thus a violation of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act.

"They are out there right now, just walking around with this illicit code in every cell of their body," stated MPAA Spokesperson Kori Bernards, "The fact that these people continue to live shows a blatant disregard for our intellectual property."

The MPAA has begun issuing cease-and-desist orders to known offenders, and plans to implement mandatory DNA testing at all cinemas and video rental stores by the end of the month.

"We simply will not tolerate this kind of infringement of our copyrights," Bernards concluded, "And with the help of the US Justice Department and the RIAA, we will track down and prosecute all offenders."

Under the DMCA, anyone found in possession of the illegal gene sequence may be subject to fines up to $100,000. Distribution of the code, by sexual reproduction or organ donation, could result in castration.

Sources

• "Censoring a Number" Slashdot, 1 May, 2007
• "DVD DRM row sparks user rebellion" BBC, 2 May, 2007