UnNews:LA Clippers owner to buy Villarreal

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

29 April 2014

Spanish sports fans have a cheerfully open attitude to racism.

LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling, who has been banned from the NBA and forced to sell the team after making racist comments, is set to buy Spanish football club Villareal.

Sterling's ignominious exit from basketball came after TMZ posted a 10 minute clip of him having an argument with his semi-articulate lover, V. Stiviano, in which he expressed confused ideas about the importance of not being seen publicly fraternizing with black people, despite owning a basketball team full of black players he admired.

Several companies immediately removed financial funding from the team, and the NBA took immediate action.

Fortunately for Sterling, Spain exists. Just two days after Sterling's conversation was published, Spanish champions Barcelona were playing Villareal, one of whose fans threw a banana at Barça's black Brazilian player Dani Alves.

This relatively common act in itself would not have made headlines, but Alves decided to pick up the banana and eat it, before taking a corner kick, and his impish behaviour caught the attention of the public, who saw it as a fine example of grace under pressure.

To Sterling, however, it was a lifeline for a different reason. He told UnNews: "I was sat in my living room, slumped on the sofa, when I saw this clip on the news. It was like being transported to another world: none of this black friends in private, not in public, bullshit.

"That country sees a black guy, makes a monkey noise, and throws a banana at him. I immediately put in a bid for the team and it was accepted," he added.

"Now I just have to find out where it is."