UnNews:Jimbo Wales doesn't believe in Santa Claus

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17 December 2007

Jimbo Wales, seen here speaking at the Wikimania conference.

Huntsville, Alabama -- This past weekend the world was shocked to discover that Jimbo Wales, Wikipedia founder and president of Wikia, does not believe in Santa Claus. Although the news is fairly recent, there has already been a slight decline of fundraiser donations, meaning Wikimedia employees will have to cut back on the vacation budget.

The controversy began when 8-year-old Virginia O'Hanlon asked her father if Santa was real. Always raving about how wonderful and accurate Wikipedia is, he suggested she use it to answer her question. Rather than typing 'Santa Claus' in the search bar, she clicked the link to Wales' userpage in her father's favorites folder, and left him this message:

Eager to hear what he would say, she would often returned to the talk page, only to see that he hadn't responded. In a rare occurrence, Wales actually checked his messages and finally gave her an answer:

Santa and little Jimmy during happier times.

Poor Virginia burst into tears immediately upon reading Wales' words. The ones she understood, anyway. Her father calmed her down by directing her to Conservapedia, which has a lengthy article that presents evidence for Santa's existence. Since the incident, many parents have started doing the same, viewing Wikipedia's anti-Christmas bias inappropriate for their children's young minds.

Meanwhile, Kris Kringle was tracked down working at a Wal-Mart in Papillion, Nebraska, and agreed to comment on the situation. "Ol' Jimmy used to be a nice child. Instead of getting into to trouble he would just sit in the corner reading encyclopedias." He continued, "But during a year in junior high he cheated on his homework a lot, so I couldn't give him any presents. The next time I saw him he accused me of putting him on the naughty list without adequate citation. I told him I found out by my own original research, and he hasn't spoken to me since."

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