UnNews:Jesus Crikey! 5000 Australians flee flooding
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
10 June 2007
SYDNEY, Australia (Rooters) -- Thousands of Australians were evacuated from their homes on Sunday as a major storm battered Australia's east coast for the past three days, whipping up entire oceans and dumping it over the whole state, most of which is now 15 meters underwater.
Eight people have drowned in the floods, which is a lot considering the city population of roughly 10. Another person was killed when a tree fell on him; falling trees don't normally don't kill Australians, but this tree had a family of drop bears in it. The area has officially been declared a natural disaster by the New South Wales state government, which made up the remaining 1 of the population.
As the water continues to rise in the state of New South Wales, the 4990 other Australians of the other states are being urged to evacuate to higher ground (Uluru) as the big wall levee surrounding New South Wales is expected to break.
"I speak for every Australian in saying... Fark! Ooi!!," said Prime Minister John Howard.
"Aghhhhh, dun't come the raw prawn, moayte. Shtroof, Oi've knocked around the Territry for twenny years. Reckun Oi know a thinger two," dairy farmer John Cousins told Rooters as he surveyed his flooded farm, which had been battling drought before the storm and floods hit.
Some farmers were forced to swim their horses and cattle out of floodwaters. One farmer, chest deep in water, held a chicken above his head as he waded towards higher ground. Another farmer whose entire property looked like a lake told local television: "We will survive, it's what we do on the land... and in sea too, ooi!"
Damage assessments of properties in Australia were still being compiled and it was unclear how the area's famed emu farms have faired in the flooding. Although the emus may have been tall enough to have not drowned, some fear that they're stupid enough to have considered burying their heads in the mud.
Wild seas on Sunday continued to hinder the rescue of the Australians flooded on Newcastle's Fosters Beach on Friday. Authorities fear a marine disaster if stingrays sting people.
Up to 3000000 mm of rain has fallen since Thursday on parts of the New South Wales, while parts of the Central Coast and Sydney received only 200000 mm.
Meteorologists have ruled out even the silver lining of the situation, putting out hopes of some that the rains had at least relieved them of the harshest drought conditions currently suffered by the eastern region. The state's dams had remained absolutely bone dry.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- CNN "5000 Australians flee flooding" CNN News, June 10, 2007