UnNews:JLo cuts through inauguration analysis with bottom

Monday, January 23, 2017

Like any other woman, Jennifer Lopez passes part of the day with her lips slightly parted and her head tilted back, with her hands between her legs, and gazing sultrily at the corner at nobody, in the hope of getting some positive reinforcement from complete strangers.

Jennifer Lopez, star of the fantastic film ... and singer of the fantastic hit singles ... and ..., cut through the political analysis of thousands of journalists and Tweeters - by looking horny and bootylicious on a big bed.

The 40-something star, who looks fantastic for her age despite having nothing to do and having access to the best beauty products in the world, forewent both the snide remarks preferred by many Democrat supporters and the idle boasting of many Donald Trump fans, and simply pretended to look horny while sitting in a short leather skirt.

"Rainy day blues" posted the Latina star as a caption, leading her Instagram followers to compliment her on her looks and/or propose lengthy, loving anal sex sessions.

"I thought you were going to ask me to say something about Trump or the women's march," said political analyst Joanna Corey, "But if you prefer I am happy to say: 'hashtag, booty, hashtag StillGotIt, hashtag ThatAssTho' and make sure you spell 'though' without the 'gh' at the end.

"On a serious note, though, I really thought the election of Trump might signal an unpresidented period of social unrest between the opposing factions in our society.

"But maybe, if we have a president who thinks he can talk about grabbing women by the pussy, all we need are more women to go on Instagram looking like they want to be grabbed by the pussy."