UnNews:House outlaws Senate
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
6 January 2007
Washington D. C. - In a surprise move, the House of Representatives passed a bill that outlaws the Senate. If the Senate also passes the legislation, the resulting law would make the Congress a unicameral rather than a bicameral institution.
Many pundits regard the bill, the first sponsored by Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) as a power grab on the part of Pelosi and others who, having come into power as a result of the last Congressional election, when the Republicans lost their majority status to the Democratic Party, are suffering from delusions of grandeur. As Fox News analyst and former political advisor to former President Bill Clinton and his better half, Senator Hilary Clinton, puts it, in his own inimical fashion,“Pelosi and her ilk have gotten swelled heads.”
Although it is doubtful that the Senate will vote in favor of the proposed legislation, the fact that the House has proposed such a bill in the first place “sends a loud, clear message to the Senate,” Morris contends, “and the message is that, under Pelosi’s House leadership, politics in Washington, D. C. will not be business as usual.”
Former Ku Klux Klansman Robert C. Byrd (D-WV), the President pro tempore of the Senate, agrees with Morris’ analysis. “Although, as Democrats, we’re both on the same side of the political aisle, the Speaker has made it clear to me and the other members of the Senate that she intends to be antagonistic and hostile rather than approachable and cooperative. The next few years are going to be exceedingly difficult.”
Not only has Pelosi sent a signal of her intention not to be cooperative with the other Congressional house, but she has also stated that it is the House of Representatives that determines which federal projects will be funded, since the Constitution gives the House, not the Senate, the sole right to raise taxes and because the House will not consider any proposals from the Senate to authorize the spending of federal funds. As a result, she adds, “those bastards had better give us everything we want, when we want it, or all their pork-barrel projects are going to get fried by our denial of funds and the expenditures of funds.”
Senator Harry Reid (D-NV) is at a loss to understand Pelosi’s attitude. “She acts as if she intends to become a tyrant, dictating the course of Congressional business according to her own personal whims and fancies. I know that’s not the case, because I know Nancy--I mean, the Speaker--and she’s a hell of a nice gal.”
Morris said, “Actions speak louder than words, and Pelosi’s bill, outlawing the Senate, says it all.”
Sources[edit | edit source]
- Lotta Lies "House to Senate: you’re history!" Uncyclopedia: a lamp of knowledge and wisdom unto the masses, January 4, 2007