UnNews:Government Sacks Drugs Advisor for Giving Advice

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

30 October 2009

Here are some drugs to illustrate the article. What? It talks about "cannabis"? Pff, surely all drugs are the same. Except alcohol and tobacco, of course

LONDON, United Kingdom The Home Office has sacked its top (now bottom) drugs advisor Professor David Nutt for giving them "the wrong sort of advice" with regards to the re-reclassification of cannabis. Home Secretary Alan Johnson explained to UnNews that "Professor Nutt completely failed to understand that the government's top drugs policy advisers are not expected to use their position to actually shape policy, they're supposed to simply explain to Her Majesty's government why the policy they are pursuing is the correct one in a way that sounds scientific to us. Such advisers need to understand that their position is very much like that of Her Majesty the Queen; officially enfranchised but actually just for nodding and saying "how right you are" and maybe shaking hands with the Botswanan ambassador occasionally".

The British government took the decision to reclassify cannabis as a class C drug in 2004. In 2008 in the wake of controversy and "new evidence" (actually stupendously old evidence which any psychiatrist worth their salt has known about for decades) it changed it back to a class B drug. Stoners and drug-dealers have still to give a shit.

Sources

• Ian Journalist "Johnson the Nutt-cracker" BBC, Oct 30, 2009