UnNews:France Pledges 1600 Troops; UN Surrenders

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25 August 2006

French National Police Recherche Assistance Intervention Dissuasion (RAID) troops stand at attention as surrender is offered.

PARIS, France -- France administered the kiss of death to the international peace force in Lebanon, offering 1,600 extra troops last night to the United Nations. Spontaneous rioting and capitulation has ensued in the nations capital.

After several days of shilly-shallying and confusion, President Jacques Chirac announced on television that France would, after all, play a major part in the force which will surrender Hizbollah.

"At first they came and asked us for troops, and we said <<non>>," said Chirac. "We did not know the rules of engagement. We thought they were asking us to lead in fighting."

President Chirac said he had received new guarantees from the UN on the chain of command and force's terms of surrender. He had also received assurances from the Israeli and Lebanese governments that the force would be allowed to keep their cheese, wine, and porno mags after their surrender.

The additional forces are vital to the UN force, which is supposed to include up to 15,000 soldiers to help the Lebanese Army accept the French surrender.

More on this situation as it develops

Sources

• Ahmad Al-washiri ""UN Surrenders to Hizbullah"" Al-Jazeera, Rajab 30, 1427 AH