UnNews:Florida sinkhole man discovers Atlantis

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3 March 2013

Jeb Bush was not known as an explorer before this week's event.

TAMPA, USA – Jeb Bush, the brother of former President George W. Bush who was feared dead after he was swallowed by a huge sinkhole in his home last week, has actually discovered the lost city of Atlantis, according to authorities.

Family members were disconsolate after learning the police search was being called off, and that their home would have to be destroyed on safety grounds, but were then told by the local sheriff that he had "had contact with Jeb," that he was "doing just fine," and, perhaps most surprisingly, that he had "found the lost kingdom of Atlantis under Florida, and is dating a mermaid."

The Bush family admit they were initially sceptical. "I was like, Atlanta, what the hell is he doing in Atlanta?" says Jeb's brother Marvin. "But then mom told me it was Atlantis, this old underwater city, and it all made sense."

Atlantis is a legendary island first mentioned in Plato's dialogues Timaeus and Critias, written about 360 BC. According to Plato, Atlantis was a naval power lying "in front of the Pillars of Hercules". Its exact location has been a source of interest to academics to thousands of years, but none had hit on the possibility of it being located under modern Tampa.

President George W. Bush was unavailable for comment, but said in a press release. "We are praying for Jeb. In many ways it's hard to understand why he had to be sucked into the ground like that, but we know he is in a better place now. It's just like Jackie, our old Alsatian, who had to go and live in the countryside that time."

Sources

• Leverage, "Florida sinkhole: Search for Jeffrey Bush called off" BBC, March 02, 2013