UnNews:Everyone athletic on drugs
Sunday, August 2, 2015
Everyone remotely good at running, jumping and such things is on drugs, a new study has confirmed.
The Sunday Times and German broadcaster ARD/WRD have obtained access to the results of 12,000 blood tests from 5,000 athletes, and it appears that every single one of them is steroided up to the eyeballs.
"Every four years the Olympics comes round and the athletes' feats greatly inspire the people," said journalist Joanna Corey. "But the truth is, without steroids, the best time a human could run the 100m in would be around 25 seconds, and most humans, when asked to run 100m, simply say no."
Sprinting, while an obvious source of attention, is not the only event fueled almost entirely on doping: "Look at the high jump. The world record is 2.45m. Have you ever seen anyone jump anywhere near as high as that? I am impressed if someone hops up four stairs at a time.
"And apparently that funny way they jump is all because of the drugs. Normally, people jump forwards with their feet together. These drug-addled wrecks run sideways and jump backwards for God's sake."
The International Association of Athletics Federations (IAAF) has described the report as "extremely disturbing". IAAF spokesperson Ima Dila said in a statement: "We had no idea people who can run 26 miles in 2 hours might not be doing it legally. We just thought they were really fast.
"In retrospect, 26 miles is a long way, even if you are driving."
While many analysts blame advances in technology for making it impossible to keep up with the latest doping techniques, others suggest that the very nature of the Olympics has always been questionable - and point to the official motto: "Faster, stronger - higher".
Sources[edit | edit source]
- Leverage, "Leaked IAAF doping files: Wada 'very alarmed' by allegations" BBC, August 2, 2015
