UnNews:Enrollment In Piracy Track Declines

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

14 April 2009

A class in the piracy major at the University of Somalia before the death of 3 of it's alumni.

UNIVERSITY OF SOMALIA , Mogadishu -- Only days after US Navy Snipers killed three and captured one pirate in a hostage situation concerning the Maersk Alabama, professors at the University of Somalia have noticed a startling trend. Namely, a sharp drop in enrollment for the "Piracy" major (which falls under the college of Business and Economics).

A recent graduate of the pirate program.

"I really don't know what to say" remarks university President Ali araye Addow. "One day over half of our students are studying to become pirates, the next day over 90% of those same students switched majors. It's perplexing." Most troublesome is rearrangement of faculty. Many professors of piracy will have to be temporarily moved to other, now more popular, departments such as Agriculture and Medicine.

"I don't like the direction our country looks to be headed in." Comments professor Si'ad. "If our nation's youth can't turn to piracy for employment, what will they do?". The head of the Piracy department, Dr. Abuur is now trying everything he can to rekindle interest in his major. " We're doing all we can. Just this week we organized several field trips to the shipping lanes, allowing select students to actually try a hijacking by themselves. You just don't get that kind of hands-on training anywhere else".

Sources

• "3 Alumni Dead in American Attack" AP, April 11, 2009