UnNews:Empress of Europe interdicts Brexit!

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Wednesday, July 17, 2019

The first true Empress of Europe since Maria Theresia and Catharine the Great

Brussels: One day after her election by the European Parliament, Empress Ursula I. of Europe (until yesterday better known as Germany's Bundeswehr valkyrie Ooshi Phone-Lyne) was proud to announce her first edict. In the name of God, her majesty forbids the Brits to execute their wish and will, i.e. their holy Brexit. Boris Johnson must move to Brussels, where she can offer him the life that he deserves, dwelling in a nice old oubliette.

Her majesty had already a previous life in lower aristocracy, where she got enough children to found a dynasty which shapes itself now to give Europe a tougher regime than the one that actually can be found in North Korea. Her last political job - started before her career lead her one step nearer to God - was a military job. Her failures on any kind of battle-field propelled her social status up to heights never seen in Europe since Napoleon Bonaparte.