UnNews:China Hacks and takes over BitTorrent web sites

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

9 November 2008
BEIJING, China -- Not being satisfied with controlling the Olympics, China hacks and hijacks Mininova, The Pirate Bay, Demonoid, Torrentfreak, and many other popular BitTorrent web sites.

Who Flung Poo was quoted as saying "Hahahahah, round eyes, we own your file sharing sites. Your search engines and megacorporation web sites are next. What you going to do USA? We own all $100 trillion of your national debt? What you going to do EU, you can't even agree on a Constitution!"

The Communist version of Cats, Mao1s was quoted as saying:

"All your BitTorrent base are belong to us!"

"Greetings capitalist pigs. You have no chance for capitalism you are on your way to communism, make your time."

"Oh by the way Barack Obama whom you just elected is a Communist Muslim that works for us, hahahaahaahaha! Obama will spend three times what George W. Bush spent, you'll join us in Communism or go collapse your economy."

China seems to imply that Barack Obama is something like The Manchurian Candidate for China?

Meanwhile 13 year old Chinese Junior High students were busy hacking Wikia so that Uncyclopedia no longer uses the uncyclopedia.wikia.com domain name but instead uses uncyclopedia.wikia.com because Wikia is a secret organization for China and Wikipedia is a Communist organization whose only mission is to brainwash readers into becoming Communists.

Oscar Wilde said "We shall fight them in the sea, we shall fight them in the air, we shall fight them on the land, by Sophia we shall never let them pass."

Gandalf was quoted as saying "'You shall not pass?' Nice one Oscar, when I tried that I died and came back as Gandalf the Gray."

Captain Obvious was quoted as saying "Oscar, why don't you fight them in China? I don't want our nations messed up in this International Internet War. I need my daily dose of porn like anyone else without Chinese captions and dubbing in them."

Meanwhile pirates have made a secret meeting with their leader and have fought back to bring the BitTorrent web sites back to their rightful owners. International Pirates with the help of the Ninjas and a few Clinjas.

Sources

• Hugh Man "China Hijacks Popular BitTorrent Web Sites" Torrentfreak, November 8, 2008