UnNews:Ceremonies mark four year anniversary of Gibson tapes

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Such has been the success of Mel's tapes, he has largely withdrawn from the acting industry to focus on preaching.

Crowds have gathered all over the world to hold celebratory ceremonies commemorating the fourth anniversary of the release of Mel Gibson's conversations with his then girlfriend Oksana Petrovna Grigorieva.

July 15th marks the anniversary of the publishing of the Third Tape, which Gibson's followers believe complete his teachings. Revellers got together to hold hands, dance in circles, and sing hymns based on Gibson's teachings, such as I Hope You Get Raped by a Pack of Niggers, You Should Fucking Just Smile and Blow Me and the hit single I Need a Woman! Not a Fucking Little Girl with a Fucking Dysfunctional Cunt.

Many of those attending the celebrations credit Gibson with turning their lives around. Barry Fisher, a web designer from Idaho, told us, "I used to be very passive in arguments and avoid confrontation. Then I heard Mel telling the mother of his child, 'YOU ARE A PAIN IN MY ASS. STOP... BEING THAT!!!!' and I thought 'Yes, that's for me'. The idea that I can just go nuclear and scream down the phone has really liberated me."

And it's not just the men. Joanna Corey, a born-again Gibson Catholic told us, "I always used to smile at my boyfriend when we were in the abstinence program together, but I felt like something was missing, that there was this hidden tension between us. Then I heard Mel's two-part guide to a man's happiness, and now I attempt to smile and blow my husband as much as possible - although it's obviously difficult to do both at once."

And 19-year-old Terry Foreman had his young mind shaped by Gibson's tapes: "I used to be really confused by big breasted girls. On the one hand I found them very, very sexy, but on the other, I hated them for also attracting the attention of other men. But then when I heard our leader tell his partner 'But they’re too big and they look stupid, they look like some Vegas bitch, they look like a Vegas whore', I understood that not only could I hold both beliefs at once, but also that it didn't even matter if my sentences made grammatical sense good."