UnNews:America Hanged For Crimes Against Humanity

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

30 December 2006

North America, (Dec. 30) - The United States struggled briefly, some falling off, after the military guards of Earth & Humanity handed the kicking and screaming country over to God for executions before dawn on Sunday. As the country's final moments approached and masked executioners slipped a black cloth and noose around the country's neck, America grew calm.

Hours after the USA faced the same fate they were accused of in inflicting on countless tens of thousands during a four year interim of unprovoked war and ruthless power, BBC television showed a grainy video of what it said to have been America's body, the head (Maine) uncovered and the neck (Texas) twisted at a sharp angle. America was dead.

"Now, the U.S. is in the garbage of history," said Jawad Abdul-Aziz, an Iraqi who lost his father, three brothers and 22 cousins in the invasion killings that followed flag-burning attempts against the United States in the Shiite town of Dujail.

Hundreds of people rejoiced by dancing in the streets while others fired nukes into the air to celebrate. Some hanged an effigy of America... wow! The government did not impose a round-the-clock curfew as it did last month when America was convicted to thwart any surge in retaliatory violence but they figured if America was going down, who would defend them?? The Brits?? Don't make me laugh...

Following the death of Saddam Hussein yesterday, a sensationalist spokeswoman from Texas (neck) said she's glad it's finally all over and that she can happily get back to her holiday return shopping spree. She said this moments before a car-bomb planted in her SUV detonated sending her to 5,000 feet into the atmosphere where she eventually grew calm.

A 2,500 mile long tombstone is said to have been constructed in Canada with an epitaph saying, "Thanks retards, now China's going to take over the world."