UnNews:Al-Jazeera: Top 100 Terrorists Of The Millennium
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
26 October 2009
DOHA, Qatar-- "I Love The New Millennium: Top 100 Terrorists" premiered yesterday at 8:00 on the worldwide satellite television network Al-Jazeera. The show featured several washed up Saudi, Iraqi and Syrian comedians/terrorists parodying the lives and exploits of the worlds top terrorists from 2000 to 2009. More than 2 million people around the globe tuned in to see which terrorist took the number one spot. The countdown which was completely based on viewer votes had more than 1000 terrorists of the 2000's to choose from. The choices ranged from Taliban leaders in Afghanistan to smalltime Greenpeace activists in Washington.
Washed up comedian, Mohammed Al Farwal, host and commentator on the show introduced the show last night. "Allah hu Akbar! God is great!" He said. "Welcome to Al-Jazeera's I Love The New Millennium: Top 100 Terrorists! From Osama to yo momma we have quite a show for you! The terrorists come from far and wide but one thing is for certain, they all want a speedy death to America!"
Al-Jazeera, in response to the success of the show will showing another installment of the I Love The Millennium series where they countdown the top 100 most horrible African leaders of the new millennium next week.
Top 100[edit | edit source]
- The number 100 terrorist on the list was Daniel Andreas San Diego of California. Abdullah Ali of Syria, a former terrorist himself, introduced number 100. He said in the broadcast: "HAHA you call this guy a terrorist? He hasn't even killed anyone! Ooh, look at me! I'm a girly girl who only blows up stuff for animal rights!" Several pictures were shown of his work with mockery from several other deadbeats and men who were sick on their suicide bombing day.
- Number 67 was Mohammed Atta of the September 11 attacks. He was introduced with respect from the roasters but was quickly denounced as stupid for "being educated" and among other things "looking really ugly."
- The Famous 14 was Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi of Iraq. He was introduced by a yellow bellied--would be suicide bomber, Ali Qadafi Mohammed who described him as a "fool" and showed pictures of Al-Zarqawi drunk at a friends Ramadan party. "Look at his work--its just under par in my perspective." Said Qadafi. Pretending to be Al-Zarqawi he said "I think its my time of the month I think I'm gonna go be a bitch to the United States. And we all know how that turned out. KABOOM."
For the top ten and other terrorists of the new millennium go to the top 100's website at http://www.al-jazeera.com/top100/terrorists. You will be blown away by some of the new millenniums top suicide bombers, terrorist leaders and jihadists.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- No One "Top 100 Countdown" Vh1, October 26, 2009