UnNews:AIDS walk fails to cure AIDS

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

20 May 2007

NEW YORK, New York -- In a disappointing development, walking failed to cure the virus that causes AIDS, HIV.

The virus that causes AIDS, which walking again failed to do anything to cure

"We really thought that if we had a lot of people march five miles, that would intimidate the virus. We failed to appreciate that viruses have no ability to appreciate sanctioned civil disobedience actions" said Gunther, an AIDS awareness activist. "We have been successful in attracting attention to the problem, but unfortunately walking has proven powerless to stop the virus. Hopefully more walking next year will be successful."

The walk was protested by virus rights activists as an example of "anti virus bigotry" despite its ineffectiveness.

"We are here today to decry the continued virus-phobia that is displayed every year in this callous, hateful march against AIDS. HIV deserves a chance to reproduce and develop in its human hosts and if that kills the human, that is the human's fault for not having evolved a less pathetic immune system." said Max Gerstahl, virus-rights activist. "So, in the words of the vernacular, screw the AIDS walk, screw AIDS activism, and screw virus-phobic little worms."

Walking has also recently failed to cure breast cancer, Autism, the common cold, and Barbara Streisand. This may however, be due to the fact that Nobody Cares.

Sources

• King, Walker "Walking: can it cure things?" Ineffective Cures for Things Monthly, May 20, 2007