UnNews:2013 UnNews Review: January

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

13 December 2013

January came with a cold snap, and UnNews readers' hearts were warmed by the news of a a hand transplant patient masturbating for the first time with his new limb.

Further afield, barriers between the East and West gave a small sign of falling with the story of the surprising new fashions taking hold in the Muslim world. Iran also showed signs of a different kind of progress, by sending a monkey into space.

Less encouragingly, the men of India made headlines with a string of gang rapes, often taking place on buses in remote areas, causing shock and disgust around the world. The situation came to be so serious, that Indian bus drivers were legally obliged to declare any intention of raping passengers. (see right)

In the UK, the nation's biggest supermarket denied its horse burgers contained mad horse disease while a horsey woman gave the sceptred isle's young women an invaluable guide to avoid being raped.

Over the pond, it was a torrid month for the head of state. Just days after being accused of lip-synching his oath, President Obama finally came clean about his affair with Secretary of State Hilary Clinton.

The month also contained a slightly more unusual story - college football star Manti Te'o - tipped by many for big things - was found not to exist.