UnGames talk:Oliver Twist
OK, I like the concept....
Here's what I suggest. I thought it might be funny to write the main article text in the best Dickens style prose that can be mustered, but to have the characters, or maybe just Oliver talking in a modern, style. Maybe portray Oliver as a street gansta rapper? Maybe a have him talking in the style of a Jamaican Rasta? Maybe Jar Jar bigs from Star Wars? I'm not sure, what the best style for Oliver would be, but what do ya think of the idea? I just thought the contrast might work well... MrN 
14:24, Mar 23
I think going overboard on Dickens is our best bet! Good job so far, N!! • <-> Mar 23 (17:45)
- Well, you are not really doing that with some of your recent edits IMO. Just watch out. The flock of seagulls stuff? Not really in Dickens style? For me, there should probably only be 1 at tops two "non Dickens" bits on each page. I was suggesting it should be when the characters speak, but I'm not sure... MrN
00:00, Mar 26
I definitely need help on that part, but I think, if you look at the recent pee review of this, that we should go for Dickens, Shakespeare, classy looking stuff. It's difficult for me. • <-> Mar 26 (00:24)
| Humour: | 9 | I really enjoyed it. I especially like the "English" accent that it is written in. At times it drifts into Scottish and Shakespeare. Whether intentional or not, it made me laugh. |
| Concept: | 8 | This works well and the repetition of "ask for moh" is an excellent idea. |
| Prose and formatting: | 8 | No problems here. |
| Images: | 7 | Good images, but could do with a few more. |
| Miscellaneous: | 8 | (averaged score). There are plenty of ways to go with this. I'd like to see the Soup Nazi idea expanded on, where Oliver's buddies, George and Kramer get involved and maybe convince him to go next door for some non-fat yoghurt. The concept is kind of the same as one of my own articles, but I don't care.
I'd like the Jaws subplot to end with the shark eating Oliver. The sharks then asks for moh. Over here in Britain, there's a talent show looking for an Oliver and a Nancy to star in a West End production of Oliver!. It might be a good idea to reference that, with a "break into song" option, followed by "ask the judges". I'll write it myself if you want, but it would have to wait until after I do my exams at the start of May. |
| Final Score: | 40 | Good stuff |
| Reviewer: | -- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey) 14:14, 25 March 2008 (UTC) | |