Zork 3

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 Fire lightcannon Score: -2387423797450273408 Moves: 47



> Fire lightcannon!

You take 2 turns to charge your lightcannon. However, the Ur-Grue takes 3 turns gloating about his final victory.


> Fire!!!

You fire the lightcannon, and it.........

.....does absolutely nothing.


> What???

This new Ur-Grue is resistant to lightcannons.


> inventory

    100 heat-seeking missiles 
   5 minutes of laser power 
   4 flash bombs 
   Four 500-kilowatt searchlights (5 minutes of use) 
   10 nest-destroying bombs that for some reason can't be used on anything else 
   30 minutes' worth of coolant 
   One rear-mounted awesome-powered light cannon
   100 Nukes
   Elven Elfin Sword of Great Antiquity
   A crowbar
   That poor kid's keychain
   A pot of gold
   A beautiful painting
   A stolic (?)
   A pair of bolt-cutters
   The Platinum Utility Ladder
   Soiled Pants (being worn)
   Sunglasses (being worn)
   Anti-Gruebot (being used)
   The Gruesome book of Grues
   A flashlight with batteries
   Sapphire Bracelet
   A Brass Bauble
   The Solid Gold Coffin
   A can of compressed air
   A stick of gum
   A batch of grumblecakes
   Half of a grilled cheese sandwich


> I stuff everything I have into the lightcannon!

Are you sure?


> YES!

Okay... You stuff your heat seeking missiles, nukes, and a whole lot of other things that I don't want to list-


> I STUFF IN MY PANTS!

-and it becomes a Thermolightcannon!


> Wow! I thought I was going to die!

Don't tempt me.