Uncyclopedia:Accuracy

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Nuvola apps important yellow.svg This article may contain one or more inaccuracies or does not cite all of its sources.[citation needed]
The author(s) must promptly be executed.[this is a lie] Uncyclopedia contains no inaccuracies.[this is a lie]
This template may also be inaccurate.[this is a lie]
Uncyclopedia is not Wikipedia[wikipedia needed].

Uncyclopedia is the truth[1]. Therefore, everything in Uncyclopedia is true[citation needed]. If something in Uncyclopedia is not true[citation needed], then it must be corrected so that it is true[citation needed]. However, this will never be necessary because everything in Uncyclopedia is true[citation needed].

Bouncywikilogo.gif
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about A for Accuracy[experts needed].

The Golden Age of Information: Pax Uncyclopædia[citation needed][citation needed][edit]

“It makes me want to scream, shout, celebrate, cry and laugh, to know that I live in the Age of Uncyclopedia, the most glorious period of human history, in which all is illuminated.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Pax Uncyclopædia[Lincoln said that]

We live in the Pax Uncyclopædia[citation needed]: Uncyclopedia is filled with informative content of indubitable veracity[citation needed]. This unmatched accuracy was a product of a most ingenious technique[citation needed]. The Founding Fathers of Uncyclopedia foresaw that people would despise authority--that they will do whatever they were told not to do.[citation needed] So, the Founders, in their infinite wisdom, used reverse psychology[2] They asked for the world to write nonsense or humor and received Pure Knowledge instead.[Of course not!]

Independent studies confirm that Uncyclopedia content has on average -400 errors per 1000 sentences. [3]

Repentance of Heretics[citation needed][edit]

Some unusual seating arrangements were made for the visitors to the Palace of Knowledge.[citation needed]

Some have questioned the factual accuracy of Uncyclopedia.[citation needed] In September 2000, they were invited to a friendly debate with the Lord High Inquisitor in the Palace of Knowledge[citation needed], a medieval torture chamber purchased by the Uncyclomedia Foundation and converted into a luxurious dining hall, complete with amenities such as warmed chairs and electrical stimulation devices for the resuscitation of those who have fainted (physically or metaphorically)[citation needed]. After several days, during which screams of joy (at realizing the truth) were heard from the Palace, the truth-deniers repented[4].

Scientific Research[Of course not!][edit]

Many studies have been done to prove the accuracy of Uncyclopedia[citation needed]. According to the prestigious pee-reviewed journal Phallological Transactions of the Society for Marine Astronomy, Uncyclopedia contains up to 23.8% fewer errors than the Iraqi Ministry of Information[5] The Uncyclomedia Foundation also performed its own objective study, which found that 103.8532%[citation needed] of the information in Uncyclopedia was "250% true." [6] Chuck Norris read this article for scientific research, and concluded it was over 9000% true, which then promptly caused him to time-travel five hundred years into the past.[citation needed][Of course not!][Chuck Norris can't lie][suspicious quotes]

Cite Your Sources or Die[citation needed][citation still needed][edit]

Accuracy will save your life[citation needed][citation needed].[citation needed]

To ensure superior credibility[citation needed], (if you can be bothered to do so) all sources must be cited[citation needed]. (Write {{cn}} at the end of every sentence that doesn't have a citation[citation needed]; It will show that what was being said is really a big fat greek lie[citation needed].[big fat greek lie]) All articles that do not have proper citations will be instantly deleted[Of course not!] and its authors will be devoured by those scary rainbow things that I keep on seeing everywhere.[citation needed][7]

You must use MLA format for some citations[Of course not!]. Unfortunately, for some mysterious reason that we cannot even begin to understand, the Modern Language Association has failed to create a format for some obviously reliable sources[citation needed]. For those, use these Uncyclopedia guidelines[guidelines don't exist yet unless you know how to scroll down].

Controlled Substances[citation needed][edit]

  • Hallucinogens should be cited with the following format:
    • Name of Drug(s). Dose. Last Name of Drug Dealer, First Name of Drug Dealer. City Taken In, Year.
    • LSD. 200 µg. Guy, Some. Los Angeles, 2002.

Electronic Sources[edit]

  • SPAM emails:
    • Last Name of Sender, First Name of Sender. "Title of Email." Email Address of Sender. Date Received.
    • Wilde, Oscar. "I am the truth"[citation needed] minluv@newspeak.oca 25 December 2005.

Interesting People Whom You Meet[edit]

For the protection of the privacy of the valuable experts who serve the greater good of our society, Uncyclopedia does not require that you provide the name of your sources[Of course not!]. You can just give a description of them[I think he had two arms and a nose].

  • One Person:
    • Description of Person. Year.
    • That Guy Who Was Passed Out and Smelled of Vodka. 1998.
    • That Person the Martians Want to Get. 2002.
  • One person being channeled through another person through the nether realm or the Netherlands or whatever...:
    • Last Name of Channeler, First Name. Name of Person Channeled. Means of Channeling. Year.
    • Frenya, Skeezo. Chief Jaguar-on-Crack of the Ancient Toltecs. Yahoo Messenger (Occult Edition). 1998.

When Should I Cite Sources?[edit]

A good rule of thumb to follow is to always cite sources when you have a sentence with the letter "e" in it[Of course not!][8]. This rule will always work, unless you have a sentence without the letter "e."[citation needed] If that happens, just cite the source[citation needed].

For example, let's say that you were adding content to the article You:


"You have a small penis [1].[citation needed] 'You' has 3 letters [2].[citation needed] An ant is absurd [3].[citation needed] The last sentence did not have an 'e' in it [citation needed].

References

  • [1] Spears, Britney. "EW! YOUR PENIS IS TOO SMALL-TRY OUR PENIS ENLARGEMENT PILLS." [citation needed]Spamalot@fakedomain.tk. 25 December 2005.
  • [2]'you' The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. p. 205.[citation needed]
  • [3] Anonymous. The Anti-Insect Manifesto. London: Elite Press, 1337.[citation needed]

If[citation needed] you[citation needed] frequently find yourself conversing with giant cats who terrorize cities, you can use the cat's wisdom to improve the accuracy of our encyclopedia,[Of course not!] but only if you cite your sources[Of course you can't!].

Miscellaneous Sources[citation needed][citation needed][edit]

  • Demonic Possession:
    • Name or Description of Demon. Date of Possession.
    • Ethereal Dinosaur with Multiple Horns. 5 May 1999.
  • Them. We at Uncyclopedia understand what you mean by Them[citation needed]. We hear their howls too [citation needed]. Just use this format:
    • Them. Date.
  • Animals. Only fools don't realize that they can talk.
    • Species of Animal. 'Title of Communication.' Date[citation needed].
    • Loch Ness Monster. 'Beware of geese.' 1873.
  • The Voices in Your Head can make valuable contributions to our encyclopedia[9]
    • The Voices in My Head. Location. Date.

Higher Standards©[citation needed][edit]

The [citation needed] next[citation needed]goal[citation needed] for[citation needed] Uncyclopedia[citation needed] is[citation needed] to [citation needed]attain[citation needed] 800% truth [citation needed]-1200% fiction[Of course not!]. In order to achieve this goal by 2022,[citation needed] every[citation needed][10] word[citation needed][11] in[12] Uncyclopedia[citation needed][citation needed][citation needed][citation needed][citation needed] should[13] be[14] cited[15]. By 2025, e[16]v[16]e[16]r[16]y[16] l[16]e[16]t[16]t[16]e[16]r[16] w[16]i[16]l[16]l[16] b[16]e[16] c[16]i[16]t[16]e[16]d[16][17]. This[citation needed] will[citation needed] help[citation needed] us[citation needed] achieve [citation needed]2600% accuracy [citation needed]. B[16]y[16] [16]2[16]0[16]3[16]0[16],[16] [16]e[16]v[16]e[16]n[16] [16]s[16]p[16]a[16]c[16]e[16]s[16] [16]w[16]i[16]l[16]l[16] [16]b[16]e[16] [16]c[16]i[16]t[16]e[16]d[16].[16]

References[citation needed][Of course not!][Of course not!][Of course not!][Of course not!][Of course not!][Of course not!][Of course not!][Of course not!][Of course not!][Of course not!][Of course not!][Of course not!][Of course not!][Of course not!][Of course not!][Of course not!][Of course not!][Of course not!][Of course not!][Of course not!][Of course not!][Of course not!][Of course not!][Of course not!][Of course not!][Of course not!][edit]

  1. "Uncyclopedia:Accuracy." {No it's not}Uncyclopedia, the Content-Free Encyclopedia. Candyland: Uncyclomedia Foundation, 2007. 2 January, 2007. <http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/Uncyclopedia:Accuracy>.[citation needed]
  2. Conversation with my friend who thinks that straightjackets are fashionable. 1996.
  3. Al-Sahhaf, M. S. et al. (2007). Comparative analysis of accuracy and error correction in reference materials. Phallollogical Transactions of the Society for Marine Astronomy. 2(34): 897-923.
  4. "Conference on Accuracy with Inquisition Yields Surprising Results" (2006). Unnews.
  5. Baghdad, Bob (5 June 2001). "Statistical Analysis of Uncyclopedic Accuracy."[citation needed] Phallological Transactions of the Society for Marine Astronomy. Oxford: Oxford Dairy Farms Press, 1999.
  6. "Official Report." Uncyclopedic Committee on Factual Accuracy. Candyland: Uncyclomedia Foundation, 2000.
  7. Shrooms (Psilocybin). 40 g. Homie, My. New York, 2006.
  8. "Official Manual on Style." Uncyclopedic Committee on Factual Accuracy. Candyland: Uncyclomedia Foundation, 2000.
  9. The Voices in My Head. A Portable Toilet. 1992.
  10. "every." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. p. 205
  11. "word." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. p. 1112
  12. "in." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. p. 452
  13. "should." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. p. 812
  14. "be." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. p. 210
  15. "cite." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. p. 303
  16. 16.00 16.01 16.02 16.03 16.04 16.05 16.06 16.07 16.08 16.09 16.10 16.11 16.12 16.13 16.14 16.15 16.16 16.17 16.18 16.19 16.20 16.21 16.22 16.23 16.24 16.25 16.26 16.27 16.28 16.29 16.30 16.31 16.32 16.33 16.34 16.35 16.36 16.37 16.38 16.39 16.40 16.41 16.42 16.43 16.44 16.45 16.46 16.47 16.48 16.49 16.50 16.51 16.52 16.53 16.54 16.55 16.56 Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.[{{{1}}}]
  17. "Yet Another Official Report".[citation needed] Uncyclopedic Committee on Factual Accuracy. Candyland: Uncyclomedia Foundation, 2000.
Fries.png Quasi-Featured Article (01:43, 1 June 2007 (UTC))
This article was nominated to become a featured article[citation needed]; however, due to a voting discrepancy in Florida[citation needed [citation needed]] involving Oprah[citation needed] and a Jenquai[Citation not needed at all; thank you very much], it didn't make the cut (12/20)[citation needed]. It's the thought that counts, right?[citation needed] You can prevent Oprah's nefarious plans from working by voting for other articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH[citation needed].