U-Pick Live

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Just a reminder, guys: she did nothing wrong.

U-Pick Live was a popular talk show on Nickelodeon during the early-mid 2000s. It aired for 3 hours every weekday (from 4pm until 7pm) and featured a diverse cast of practically unknown scrubs looking to make an impact on daytime television. Unfortunately, neither Disney Channel or Cartoon Network would hire them at the time... so of course, they had to make their rent due with Nick.

Cast[edit | edit source]

  • Candace Bailey as herself – A sassy, slightly ditzy blonde (then later, a brunette) who was highly popular with older audiences. After U-Pick Live ended, Bailey faded into relative obscurity and has done little of note, though she did star in that show Jericho (no, not the wrestler), was the new host of G4's Attack of the Show! after Olivia Munn's departure, and also briefly dated the creator of Robot Chicken. (Also, oddly enough, she was in a Burger King commercial?) Since then, she became a mother. She has a belly button that sings "I'm Coming Out" by Diana Ross.
  • Brent Popolizio as himself – The token glasses-wearing nerd who secretly was a simp towards Candace. His segments on the show were rather unpopular, as he wasn't as entertaining of a host as Candace (or anyone else on the show). He used to be the drummer of former indie band Dead Fame, which has since been disbanded. Since then, Popolizio has faded away from the limelight, living a more private life.
  • Jeff Suthpen as Pick Boy – An adventurous, silly, and sometimes annoying guy who would pick random audience members and make them guess prizes from the prize wall. Of course, millennials remember Suthpen as Pick Boy... but soon after U-Pick ended, he would then be introduced to gen Z as the host of BrainSurge.
  • Antonio Neves as himself – Best known by fans on the show as "the floating head of a Hispanic guy". He wasn't shown much on the show, and he was known for being very annoying. He continuously ranted on the show about how the network didn't appreciate Hispanics. He was the first to be fired because the network feared he would leak out to much information (mostly the reasons why Nick didn't renew such hit shows as Invader Zim, Angry Beavers, and My Life as an Emo). He currently is protesting outside Nickelodeon studios demanding a reason why he wasn't featured much on the show (even though they had given him a reason a while ago).
  • Garbagio as himself – A Mexican Lucha Libre wrestler that somehow found his way on the show. He too didn't get much air time on the show; when he did, it was lackluster matches against either food or toys. He currently is doing indie Mexican wrestling shows and is a part time speaker to teenagers. His topics mostly focus on Why kids shouldn't ever work for children's television networks and how to wrestle against cookies and milk.
  • Tom Lamberth as Cow – Well... it's a cow. Okay not a real cow, but some hobo dressed as one. The network was desperate for a mascot and they needed to find an actor to fit a cow suit they found in the studio fast. Ironically, several shows later, Nick decided the show didn't need a mascot since they weren't getting good ratings anyway so they kept him around as a recurring joke.

Premiere[edit | edit source]

One day, on a boring and sunny afternoon... on October 14th, 2002, instead of broadcasting their usual programming, this show premiered. At first glance, the network's audience was wondering what the heck the show they were watching, but then out of curiosity, they watched it anyway. This continued for a week, but soon thereafter, the show became just like the rest of the network's programming, a watered down, lame, childish, and immature show. The show was originally going to be hosted by Michael Jackson , but due to the show's majority audience being children under 10 and because of the allegations against him, the show instead had at the time, unknown actors, Candace Bailey and Brent Popolizio host the show. They were soon joined by loud mouth, Hispanic Antonio (who soon adopted the role of Floating Head as a punishment by Nick for the problems he would soon cause the show), expelled Mexican Lucha Libre wrestler Garbage whom would regularly wrestle inanimate objects and food items instead of real people due to his rather embarrassing win and lose record which was a 0-105, a hobo dressed in a cow suit, Cow, and Nickelodeon commercial slave and wannabe superhero, Pick Boy.

Run[edit | edit source]

In the beginning, the show was considered to be cutting-edge and ahead of its time. U-Pick Live was in fact the very first show on Nickelodeon to not need the use of slime unlike the television show it ran against Slime Time Live (which ran an hour before U-Pick). During the last few months of the show's run, it was actually considered to be purchased by Cartoon Network, but unfortunately because Nickelodeon had ownership of most of the shows, and because its cast was under contract to the network, they turned the offer down, and thus, the show died within a matter of weeks before its eventual end. At the time, Nick would brag about how much they had screwed over Cartoon Network out of a crap load of money.... that statement alone was so incredibly stupid not even 10-year-olds could like it. The show featured many enjoyable skits (even though they were pointless, irrelevant, and at times vulgar), and the show's cast was rather entertaining (with the exception of a few of them). However, as the show continued its run, many problems began to happen and so many kooky shenanigans occurred. The show began to adopt many pointless segments such as Candace's Corner; a segment in which Candace ate up 15 minutes talking about how much more important she was then the rest of the cast (it's a well-known fact that Ms. Bailey is a massive narcissist. In fact, she was ranked #40 in People Magazine's 100 Most Narcissistic Celebrities), 10 seconds with Brent; a segment in which Brent did his best to either sell himself as an important member of the show or to promote his indie emo band, and a list of other pointless segments. Soon after tensions between the cast began to grow. Candace would begin to increase the minutes in her segments and the other members began to fight with her during the show, Antonio began to shoot on Nickelodeon on its alleged "disrespect for the Latino community", and a shit load of other problems.

Dying Days[edit | edit source]

During the last year of its run, the show became a massive disaster. The show had become so watered down, boring, vulgar, and included so many unscripted and explicit moments that it made WCW 's dying days look like good television. Nickelodeon made many attempts to bring the show back to its former glory. However, its glory days were when it had real competition, its segments didn't feel like they were dragging ass, and its cast didn't act like a bunch of dumbasses. In the months that followed, U-Pick Live would receive it's lowest ratings ever (even though their ratings were never stellar) and plentiful lawsuits and complaints from it's audience. Then one day, Antonio during one of Candace and Brent's segments, knocked both cast mates out and delivered a harsh and vulgar promo. It contained practically every single curse word you can possibly imagine, many racial slurs, and a ton of other irrelevant nonsense. At first people got lost in his entire rant that they didn't quite catch on what the hell Antonio was so pissed off about, but then they realized it was yet another one of his long complaints about how Nick unappreciated the Latino community.

Here's a small and understandable segment of his near 20-minute rant.

Needless to say, Antonio totally misunderstood the situation for what it really was. Nick wasn't prejudice to him for being Latino, they were basically just giving him his daily working routine, but because he went on air and acted like a nutcase, the network punished him by making his character on the show a "floating head". Following this decision, the company sent him a letter. It said the following.

Brent himself treated the show's audience to yet another unhinged and completely unscripted moment. However, unlike Antonio who ranted because he was too dumb to

understand the real situation, he basically crashed out and sobbed like a baby on live television for millions of people to witness. Basically, he kissed the collective ass of the network and begged them to treat him as good as they treated Candace and to increase the time of his segments. However, before he could continue, his crying session was cut straight to commercial.... it lasted 2 minutes.

Soon enough, U-Pick Live was old news, and Nick quickly replaced its timeslot with more reruns of SpongeBob SquarePants. Because of course, when in doubt... there's always SpongeBob.

Death[edit | edit source]

Sadly (well... not really), on May 27th, 2005, Nickelodeon made the decision to cancel the show, and the 401st (& final) episode aired. The reason behind the decision was because Candace didn't want to renew her expired contract. Nick HQ was devastated that the actress chose not to renew her contract. Evidently, Ms. Bailey thought she was too good for the show (but, later in her career, that mentality would soon bite her in the ass). The other members (mostly Brent) said they would gladly renew their contracts, but Nick decided not to bother since they weren't all that important. Brent cried like a baby as security dragged him out of the building. Antonio had already left the company a few months prior, so he dodged the completely creepy last moments of the show. Pick Boy happily accepted a contract by Nick to do a line of commercials for the company and to star in some of its other shows (a decision he would ultimately regret). Garbage returned to Mexico to work some indie Lucha Libre wrestling shows/ He would go on to lose to the likes of Rey Mysterio, La Parka, Psychosis, and Nacho Libre. Cow quietly left the show, and he was never heard from again (He joined the Surreal Life, but people that star in that show are never heard again because that's the point of their careers where nobody would ever hear from them again). Nick closed the doors on the once interesting and cutting-edge Nick tv show after something, something years (ugh...who the fuck cares? Everyone lost interest after the first 2 years of the show).

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