Texas A&M University
| Texas A&M | |
|---|---|
 | |
| Motto | Gig em' Aggies! |
| Established | 1876 |
| School type | Public |
| Head | Darth Vader |
| Location | College Dorms, Texas, USA |
| Campus | Aggie Land |
| Endowment | 12 inches |
| Faculty | Illinois Nazis |
| Mascot | Charlie, the happy negro |
“Texas Aggies? More like Texas FAGgies. That is all.”
When a young man graduates from high school he will probably make one of the most important decisions of his life: where he will continue his education. If he decides to blow his future, and party hard, more than likely he will go to t.u. However, if he decides to shave his head, make friends at an all-male strip club, and become a gay legend, he will attend Texas A&M University.
Texas A&M – established 1876, built on morals and utmost camaraderie, the school was originally a military college established with the hopes they would want to learn about cows or some shit like that. TAMU was originally called TAMC, standing for Texas All Males Club.
Aggies worship many gods, none of them benevolent.
Traditions[edit | edit source]
One Aggie tradition is to spend all year waiting for one game, just to lose that game and jokingly say you "ran out of time" – then wait another year and do the same thing.
Another tradition of the Aggies is bashing t.u. They also hate black people and recruit only African-Americans for their sports teams in a sad attempt to make said teams better than those of the Texas Longhorns – and to avoid lawsuits. There is only one type of person that goes to Texas A&M: the type that succeeds at making the black quarterback splooge in his mouth.
Yet another tradition of the TAMU is creating a huge bonfire and dancing around it in the nude while worshipping Satan. They then throw large amounts of marijuana onto the pyre to get everyone high. This is how they initiate the freshmen before football season. One year they threw so much pot on the fire it made an unstable stargate and swallowed a few students before collapsing.
The Corps[edit | edit source]
Because Texas A&M is a recognized Senior Military College, the Corps of Cadets is a large body of mostly male students who constantly exercise, discipline freshmen, and uphold tradition.
The Corps was the US Government's first experiment with highly effective indoctrination in military tradition. This was later perfected when National Socialists created das Hitlerjugend.
The Corps is, for the most part, a collection of weeaboos, school shooters, closet nazis, flamboyant nazis, and army fags.
The Corps is useful only for making loud noises, chasing freshmen, smelling weird, eating their medals, and hosting Fight Club behind the Dixie Chicken every Monday at 3:00 a.m.
Quotes from notable alumini[edit | edit source]
“What the fuck.”
“Hi, my name is Faissal.”
“Hello folks, Art Belmonte here.”
“Uh-huh. Oh God. Keep going. Keep going, oh, oh, oh my GOD ...”
Gig'em[edit | edit source]
"Gig 'em", also known as "Fuck 'em", is a silent salutation executed by a simple thumbs up. The sign originated with a former coach who told the A&M football team to "gig the hell outta TCU". [Citation not needed at all; thank you very much] At that very moment, a new campus tradition was born and, in their excitement, A&M left the game to tell the rest of the student body and faculty their new phrase. What A&M fans tend to forget is that fifteen minutes before practice the former and current coaches were smoking leftover weed from that year's initiation bonfire and watching TV. (They basically stole it from there.) The most important part of this tradition is that nobody actually knows what "gigging" is.
This tradition has also been controversely (erm, controvertially ... yeah, whoever wrote this oveeusly went to TAMU colledge) noted for various instances of "Gig-'em Get-togethers" where massive thumb-to-butt "fights" occur between Corpsmen in a display of "Hey brah, look at how fucking manly we are."
