Talk:Zen

Could someone change this article to be, itself, zen? I.e., in the form of koans that encourage the reader to think about their own existence, reality and unreality, and the acceptance of that which is not and is at the same time? Perhaps an introductory warning box like:

"You probably reached this page attempting to find the article on Zen. This, however, is the article on Zen. Please accept our apologies"

Then, perhaps this as the introductory paragraph:

"A web user sent a html request to the Great Encyclopedia seeking the truth about Zen. The Great Encyclopedia replied, "404 Error". Confused, the web user tried again, sending a second html request. The Great Encyclopedia replied "403 Error". Again, the user tried; however, lightning struck nearby and the computer lost power before the response could be returned. Suddenly, the web user was enlightened."

It should have a picture, containing a single red pixel, slightly off center, labelled "The Truth (look deeply)", or something to that effect.  :) Rei 21:44, 12 Oct 2005 (UTC)

IMO, the image should be lilac, the colour of superstrings. 84.230.185.211 07:58, 15 February 2006 (UTC)

The answer to the "Enlightenment" Koan is of course two: one Zen monk to change the broken lightbulb, and another Zen monk to not change the broken lightbulb. In a pinch, one Zen monk could perform both tasks, but not simultaneously. --Dimario 08:21, 10 March 2006 (UTC)

Are you sure about that? --Sir gwax (talk) 15:22, 10 March 2006 (UTC)

Well, actually, no. Rumour has it that in some cases a third Zen monk is required to un-change the broken lightbulb...--di Mario 23:33, 10 March 2006 (UTC)

But what's the donkey for? --Sir gwax (talk) 00:52, 11 March 2006 (UTC)

It's not a donkey, it is flock of locals disguised as a three-euro coin. It has been planted there by the NSA (hence the three-euro coin, ignorant fools - should have been two fifty) to find out what group of international terrorists broke the lightbulb in the first place. --di Mario 09:54, 11 March 2006 (UTC)

Ah, now I see where I was going wrong, thanks. --Sir gwax (talk) 20:13, 11 March 2006 (UTC)

I added a boy and his dog after spending an entire afternoon trying to get some work done whilst one of the neighbours was making njjjjiirrrr...njjjjiiirrr noises with some form of electric apparatus applied against stone and one of the other neighbours was just plain barking his dog. Both noises being made outside. My window being open. A fine summer day being in progress. Btw, "a boy and his dog" is also the title of an excellent short story by Harlan Ellison, which was later turned into a very bad movie. Well, that's Zen for you. --di Mario 21:43, 13 August 2006 (UTC)

Zen is Fun!

Zen is boring, but nevertheless, deep deep down inside, everybody thinks Zen is fun! D. G. Neree 16:17, 17 November 2006 (UTC)

But it sure is fun to make fun about Zen! -- di Mario 11:08, 26 November 2006 (UTC)

Blue Zen, and the Zen Blues

Capitan Tangent added a new koan. Her (or perhaps his) approach is to split and rule (as opposed to divide and conquer). Though it doth make sense, I somehow miss a certain element of incremental counting. As one spliffs the grains of sand, a tally should be kept on how many and what particles where called into creation. If only so that we may reckon properly come Resurrection Month. -- di Mario 20:07, 18 June 2007 (UTC)

A small tidy

I removed a little vandalisation and modified the lightbulb joke.

French translation

Hello,

I have done a French translation of this article but there are still sentences I don't understand:

• What is "Fludge" and what does the sentence mean?

• Fludge is not Zen and the sentence is Fludge—i.e. just use the same word in the translation.

• What is a "Great Yanda tree"?

• I have no idea, but it might be somekind of plant. Just translate it literally, like "Grand Yanda arbre" or something.

• What is funny in the The Great Science section?

• It treats the issue of science subdividing everything ad infinitum.

• Has the The Legend of Neo section a sense?

• It makes sense in that Neo is the Chosen One and Hollywood lacks Zen.

• Has the The Zen Master's Injury section a sense?

• Sense makes Zen, apparently. So no.

• What does "There is no statue to Ernie Wise." mean and why is it written here?

• I wish I knew. You could look him up somewhere if you really want to know.

• What does "And if you manage to cast a little enlightenment on your way there, hey, we can use all the help we can get." mean and why is it written here?

• It means casting enlightenment is a good thing.

• Is the idea of the The Zen Master's Lunch section that the vendor "Makes one with everything (i.e. all the money)." ?

• The idea is that he ought to incorporate the money he got too, but as he says "change (which has multiple meanings) has to come from yourself and within."

• Is there a specific ton in the text?

• A ton? I don't think this article heavy enough to account for a ton.

• Is there any word play in the text (except koan/cone, "YU NO HU"/You know who...)?

• Probably. Like the change mentioned earlier.

Ftiercel 16:46, October 19, 2009 (UTC)

The Answers. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 07:12, 22 October 2009

OK, Thank you. Ftiercel 12:57, October 22, 2009 (UTC)

I'm enlightened now. Ftiercel 17:10, October 22, 2009 (UTC)