Talk:Mystery Box

From Pee Review

It probably needs to be more subtle, but are there any ideas on how to expand this article?--- Jaques Pirat ^{IS NOT FRENCH!} _{TP, F@H} 22:09, 7 June 2006 (UTC)

I quite like the idea and the infectiously enthusiastic writing style, but past the musical interlude things kind of lose focus. I'd recommend focusing more on the intense mystery of just what's in that darn box, with teams of scientists trying and failing to determine it, and dropping the idea that the reader just has to open it to find out. --Wyattj 12:48, 12 June 2006 (UTC)

That should fix it slightly. I don't honestly why I didn't revert the edits of that Guest --- Jaques Pirat ^{IS NOT FRENCH!} _{TP, F@H} 17:52, 12 June 2006 (UTC)

A shameless spork from family guy. However, there is a lot of potential for this subject. Here's my advice:

1. Pretend you don't know what Family Guy is, and continue writing the article.
2. Take out the quote and the short intermission because it is random humor

-- Kaizer the Bjorn takkun (nya nya) (1961 model!) Check out T61! 13:41, 14 June 2006 (UTC)

• Actually, I have got some idea for the article. However, I am quite busy with my real life at the moment and editing articles at Uncyc is just not my priority. So, stay tuned. -- Colonel Swordman 13:29, 15 June 2006 (UTC)

• To concur with Kaizer, it's well written but the boat bit definitely needs to be taken out- family guy references are getting a little too ubiquitous now --Jamtrousers 19:17, 15 June 2006 (UTC)

• Umm, it's good. I love the writing style. If anything, make it more excited and over the top. It sort of tails off towards the end too. --ENeGMA 18:49, 16 June 2006 (UTC)
• I'll see what I can do.--- Jaques Pirat ^{IS NOT FRENCH!} _{TP, F@H} 02:26, 18 June 2006 (UTC)

• REDONE FROM HEAD TO TOE!. Any criticism? --~

  Jacques Pirat, Esq. Converse : Benefactions : U.w.p.

  23:24, 3 September 2006 (UTC)