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Though the proximate cause of this article was an inappropriate and somewhat heated discussion of abortion rights on the VFD page, I also must acknowledge a debt to Thomas M. Disch, who beat me to the idea by several decades. Snarglefoop (talk) 20:21, 22 June 2014 (UTC)

HeHe. I will read it later then... I don't remember any "heated" discussions on VFD recently. I also don't remember any discussions about abortion rights either. :P JFC 15:14. Jun 23
Well crumbs here I wrote this great(?) rebuttal(?) and it turns out you don't even remember the argument. Oh, poo. Snarglefoop (talk) 18:29, 23 June 2014 (UTC)
I assume it's just sarcasm. Don't worry your pretty little head over it. – Llwy-ar-lawr (talkcontribslogs) 00:36, 24 Jun 2014Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia
What's sarcasm? JFC 01:01. Jun 24
Is not, I was totally serious. Snarglefoop (talk) 01:11, 24 June 2014 (UTC)
I don't remember an argument. An argument is only possible if the people involved get upset which did not happen. If people don't get upset it's a discussion. :P Also... Serious ? I can see one perspective where it could be serious but then not because you are 'not a sockpuppet'... :P JFC 01:23. Jun 24

OMG it's starting to sound British! ... Good changes, BTW, thanx... Snarglefoop (talk) 18:30, 23 June 2014 (UTC)

I think Llwy is fixing my mistakes as we speak. :) It's almost ready for VFH but IMO needs a ==See also== section and some more links to other articles to balance things off nicely. Do that and I will nom it for VFH if no one else beats me to it first. Could maybe use another pic also perhaps? ... There should maybe also be a template at the bottom, but I can't think of the right one to use. JFC 01:01. Jun 24
I didn't mean the bit about sounding British to indicate it sounded wrong.... Yeah, "See also" would be good. It could also stand to have a section on food. I had one in the outline but I kind of ran down after saying "Humans are omnivores, and can be fed a diet very similar to what you would feed a domestic pig", and it seemed like it was pushing the bounds of too-long-ism at that point so I chopped the section and published it. As to pictures, yeah, but I confess I had trouble coming up with ideas for this one. I was thinking of hacking together a Mr Potato Head of some sort, but unfortunately that would come naturally down at the bottom where there's already kind of a cluster of images; something that naturally falls closer to the top of the page would be a better choice, maybe. But what, I'm not sure. Snarglefoop (talk) 01:33, 24 June 2014 (UTC)

OK, look, guys...[edit]

Seems to be a little cross-reverting going on here. It might help if I laid out my Vision of the Page here. (Or it might not, but whatever.)

The working title for this page (before I found out there was a vacuum where "Humans" should be) was "Humans as a New Pet". Now, I wouldn't actually have put it up with that title, because it sounds stupid and ungrammatical, but you should understand why that's what our staff of highly trained ghosts called it.

There's this line of books, "Mice as a New Pet", "Gerbils as a New Pet", "Octopuses as a New Pet", and so forth, put out by (I think) TFH, which may be a British outfit (British publishers print the best how-to-raise-animals-and-be-eccentric books around, or at least they used to). The titles in that series sound kind of stupid but those books were very consistently named and rather well known in the pet trade. Needless to say, they were books for people who were getting a particular kind of animal for the first time.

So, anyway, the point is the overall tone of the page was kind of copied from what I remember of their guides. That's why, for instance, it would be wrong to say "... you must do X or it may die." If they were talking about the pet actually dieing they'd get like breathless and panicky about it, but mostly they didn't do that, they were very everything-is-wonderful about stuff. Similarly, it's probably better to use passive voice when discussing something like what's going to happen in shelters, because "we" would refer to the good folks at TFH, who were most certainly not the ones who were picking up stray animals.

Anyhow I also should add that I didn't actually dig out any of our old copies of "Spiders as a New Pet" and whatnot that we've got around the house, so I'm working from 10 year old memories of what the books were like and I could be off a bit. But whatever. Snarglefoop (talk) 01:26, 24 June 2014 (UTC)

BTW the Disch story referred to above, which was titled "Fun with Your New Head", had a similar theme but was much, much darker. (I mean, it was Disch, right? He made Harlan Ellison seem like an optimist.) Found it in a volume with other stories with upbeat names like "Now is Forever" and "The Squirrel Cage", all of which more than lived up to the creepiness hinted at in the titles. Snarglefoop (talk) 01:45, 24 June 2014 (UTC)
We get it! We Get it! Wait. Squirrel cage? That's just nasty man. Squirrels were born to run free! ... I think it's ready for VFH and will nom it now if you don't think it needs the extra pics and links to other articles, and are otherwise done working on it. JFC 10:12. Jun 27