Stanky Legg
“I thought I cured this shit.”
“Now git it! Git it! Git it!”
“Finally, a dance for me!”
The "Stanky Legg", along with it's close relative the "Booty Do", is a typically African American dance move that must be perfomed "Like your bro" involving transferring your weight on to one leg and kneeling down with that leg, while the other leg is outstretched like a large vagina behind the body and limply gyrated in a rythmic fashion, akin to a crippled child having his crutches kicked out from under them. The Stank Legg is commonly performed while "Saucing your ring and rubbing it across your head," "Jacking your feet up in the air and checking your myspace too," "banging yourself when someone can tell that you're hot," and "hitting that whoop do dee do." Also during the course of performing the Stanky Legg, one is expected to perform the Booty Do. The Booty Do is performed at a certain cue and involves the motion of crouching down with the posterior protruded, with arms hand over hand outstretched in front of the body. Both the arms and posterior are pumped up and down in a rhythm parallel yet opposite of each other that creates the illusion of one off someone all the while sitting on various other phallus'. This dance is commonly performed in environments such as night clubs in it's current incarnation performed originally in this form by the G-Spot Boyz. Besides night clubs, youtube seems to eat this shit up.
History[edit | edit source]
The Dark Ages[edit | edit source]
The earliest documented occurrence of the Stank (the past tense for stink) Legg date back to 10th Century England in a Angle settlement near Sheffield. This incident is believed to have been brought upon by a local settlement peasant consuming too many sacks of mead, becoming so intoxicated, that while stumbling home from the tavern, the local shat his trousers, resulting in a steaming, bubbling, mudslide running down their leg. This resulted in the peasant buckling his leg in a manner to shake the molten fecal matter off, observed by other locals and described as being reminiscent of "ye who fucketh pigs," and "the young lad that art one who buggereth sheep." By this description the dance now know as the "Farm Fucker" became a smash hit at harvest festivals and maypole celebrations. However the crude and sinful undertones of the dance resulted ina Papal crackdown by Pope John Paul 2.0 who in a vision to the past deemed the dance sinful and ungodly. Almost all practitioners of the "Farm Fucker" were banished to Transylvania and gathered into the service of Dracula who used them in lieu of zombies at the castle entrance, as they also had the ability to respawn, but did not drop cloth shirts constantly. Sadly the "Farm Fuckers" as they were known had their persecution pinnacle in the Farm Fucker Castlevania Massacre at the hands of members the Belmont family.
The Renaissance[edit | edit source]
The lone survivor of the Farm Fucker Castlevania Massacre, Christopher Reeve, managed to make his way to Venice, Italy by 1468. Finding refuge in the arms of his new lover, Leonardo da Vinci, The fad of "Farm Fucking" began anew in the Renaissance by way of introduction into Illuminati secret society by way of Leonardo da Vinci. The predecessor to the Stanky Legg became so popular, it became the primary initiation ritual of the Illuminati to pull off a successful "Farm Fucker" routine. It was also a mainstay at weekly keggers held by the Illuminati, where attending friends of the secret society, Greys and Reptilian alien species, caught on to this hip new groove and made it an intergalactic sensation. However, another person learned this precursor and began the bloodline of what is believed to be the great grandpappy, or Uncle Tom, of the modern Stanky Legg. Da Vinci's slave boy, Mandingo the Nigger Ethiop learned the ways of the "Farm Fucker." However Mandingo was caught giving Reeve head in 1475, and da Vinci banished Mandingo to his homeland in Africa. From there the dance caught on and was relayed between tribes all over the continent setting the stage for the modern emergence of the Stanky Legg.
Colonial Period and Industrial Periods[edit | edit source]
Black people couldn't do shit then. They were all slaves.
Modern Times (1866-2009)[edit | edit source]
After the American Civil War, the blacks began wilding out once more. However their tribal dances were performed in secret as Abraham Lincoln's ghost warned them that "Crackers still be straight ig'nant. Wait til white bitches want the chocolate daddy dick to bust out them sweet ass moves." And so black people did. In late 2008 the G-Spot Boyz, a group of niggers urologists who were named as they are for their habits of giving happy endings at the end of prostate exams. (Please note that the G-Spot Boyz are not gynecologists. That would make them NOT fags.) Being both members of the Illuminati and black, they were experts in both intergalactic and tribal forms of the dance (Because as a memeber of both groups you HAVE to be an expert). However to spread the New World Order through crazy dances and chocolate daddy dick, the G-Spot Boyz needed a more savory name for their dance than the "Farm Fucker" to reach the masses. While brainstorming ideas for 24 hours straight and 48 straight bottles of 40 oz. liquor, one member of the G-Spot Boyz shat themselves and had difficulty walking around as he shat himself and began hobbling as it slid down his leg and produced a pungent stench. As in tribute to the original performance of the dance, the group dubbed it's rebirth as the Stanky Legg. They also decided to add in their love of fat asses and handjobs with the "Booty Do." This move was simply taken from the actions of a prostitute that was performing on all of the memebers at once (See description in introduction.) The song and dance single became a smash hit worldwide and is slated to be released galaxy wide in 2876, when it reaches planets outside of the solar system.
Practical Uses[edit | edit source]
Despite being an Illuminati induction ceremony, intergalactic and rap sensation, as well as the primary tool to bring about the New World Order the Stanky Legg has other uses also:
- A mating ritual.
- A very black dance that's easily attemptable by the very white. Performed correctly? Sparingly I say.
- An easy way to get your ass beat if you're white.
- An easy way to have some big black booty on your crotch
- More successful sales pitcher than Billy Mays
- And that fucker from Ronco