Space pirate
In the Video game series Metroid, Space Pirates are a species of genetically-altered aliens that continually appear as enemies to be killed by the main character, Samus Aran. They seek to domesticate the alien species known as the Metroid to destroy Galactic Civilization, Galactic Peace, Peace of Mind, Pieces of Chocolate, and Reese's Pieces.[1]
Lorem[edit | edit source]
In the game's semi-fictional lore, Space Pirates are an insidious alien species with strange-looking arms and legs. Their closest human analogue is a mix of 1960's Batman and Bruce Lee's nagging uncle Johny. Newer versions include much less Batman, instead opting for the "I Barely Tried" look.[2]
Their written language includes several characters, most of which look suspiciously like foreign manga occult drawings, although some are barely recognisable as Latin characters. Although fiercely debated, many people believe that there is evidence supporting the claim that some of these messages have been encrypted using the most secure encryption algorithm in the world, NNNNNNNNN![3]. If so, this may explain much of the space pirate's difficulties, most notably the fact that they seem to fail in almost any form of communicating the fact that they do not wish to be shot repeatedly in the face with a laser cannon, thank you very much.
They have remained prominent in most of the series as the "villains" of the game, destroying planets and such for their own gain.
There have been concerns from many gamers about associating the entire race with the name "Space Pirate", with some deeming the term racist; while others simply mocking those who do think so.
Abilities and vulnerabilities[edit | edit source]
Across most of the games, the Space Pirates have been known for stealing certain abilities. While occasionally successful, this usually backfires in a very boring way. The creatures themselves have several vulnerabilities, most notably laser blasts, cryogenic materials, sonic blasts, lasers, beams of plasma, low self-esteem, lightning strikes, and being shot in the face with a laser. Missiles are also very effective. Because of their vulnerability to lasers, all species of cats are banned in Space Pirate culture.
The only notable ability of Space Pirates is their ability to come back in the next game, even when they are completely obliterated.
Space Pirates in popular culture[edit | edit source]
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Footnotes[edit | edit source]
- ↑ A report from the U.S government on video games that SOMEBODY lost in the backseat of an SUV
- ↑ People's Metroid rants
- ↑ The rot13-encoded version of AAAAAAAAA! (Language).