Shit Pie

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Mmmmm...Delicious shit pie.

Enjoyed by many across North America and some parts of Europe, Shit Pie is an exquisite delicacy that is sure to tingle your tastebuds. It's the new sensation that will have your youngsters asking, "May I have some shit, please?" many have said yes...

History[edit | edit source]

The history of cheesecake is sketchy, but legend has it that in they year 1777 a royal chef my the name of Jacque the easily enraged (In French: Jacque la fuckoff) got so enraged over the king's constant request for Snail fed escargot that he snapped, cheesed in a pie and served it to the royal court. The king loved it so much he demanded that every Thursday everyone in France made this cake for their evening meal.

The first major restaurant to serve this was the Ritz hotel in Basingstoke (which in reality was a greasy spoon next to the railway station). The cake was served under the less shocking title of 'Mississippi cheese cake'. The pie became very popular and the franchise soon expanded to locations all over Basingstoke.

The firm now trades as McDonalds (after it's original owner, Ronald) and includes shit as a main ingredient in all it's food along with a free beverage, usually a large mason jar filled with piss.

Ingredients[edit | edit source]

  • 1 store-bought pie crust
  • 1 Big Mac
  • 500g creamed corn
  • 875g granulated sugar
  • 250g butter
  • 5g chocolate laxatives
  • 250g chopped walnuts (optional)
  • 2 large egg
  • 20kg of shit
  • Dead toddlers

Directions[edit | edit source]

Two girls enjoying their shit.

PREHEAT oven to 375° F.

CONSUME 1 large cat, creamed corn, sugar, butter, laxatives, and walnuts. Combine in stomach for 2 hours. Add stomach acids. Churn in bile and other bodily juices until creamy. Empty, through rectum, into a large mixing bowl. Add eggs, one at a time, and beat well after each addition. Using a spatula or wooden spoon, smooth the shit mixture into the pie crust.

BAKE for 10 to 12 minutes or until dark brown. Let cool for 5 minutes.

SERVE warm with whipped cream and bran flakes.

See Also[edit | edit source]