Romsey
 | This article may be Overly British |
| Romsey | |
|---|---|
| Motto: "You only live once, so lets stay in and watch TV !" | |
| Civic anthem: Moose | |
| State | Hampshire (Somewhere,good luck finding it) |
| Official nickname | Romjob |
| Official language(s) | French |
| Mayor | Emma And-Her-Son |
| Established | 1997 |
| Currency | Ugandan Dollars |
Romsey is basically the drive-thru of Hampshire, in it lies near the wider areas of Southampton,Winchester and Beirut. Romsey is fun for anyone over the age of 95, this is due to the number of care homes, bungalows and its key asset, Waitrose. Anyone below the age of 80 in Romsey has generally, had a shocker. The road to the absolute party town of Winchester has speed limits of 30 in places, with silly speed cameras, probably why the people of Romsey never leave its borders. The introduction of Cars to Romsey in 2010 has been met with great success, it is rumoured that the town now has three cars in total, a record breaking fact for a record braking place. On the note of records, In 2009, Romsey won the "Gay pride of Britain" award, which has only been won by one other place in its history, Brighton.
Law and Order[edit | edit source]
Angry Beryl in 94 Culverdale Close is head of the neighbourhood watch scheme, she is renowned for her hostile attitude towards crime, hitting anyone who leaves their door after 6pm, until 9am the next day.
Schools[edit | edit source]
The main school of the area, Romsey School, Ofsted described as "Outstanding", with this being put down to "Great teaching, research and a great shag from the headmaster".
Most people in Romsey attend Peter Symonds College after scraping through their GCSE's, here they find people who have two eyes and can talk. This shocks most people from the area, causing a high drop-out rate. Some people have been known to make it to university from Romsey, this was achieved by one very famous individual, Colonel Gaddafi.
Entertainment[edit | edit source]
- Bingo Night
- Quiz Night
- Sleeping
- McDonalds Ower
- Burrrdlands
- Paultons Park
- The rare visit from normal people.
Culture[edit | edit source]
Sleeping, TV and struggling to come to terms with the English Language are the key cultural traditions of the area.
Ever since a boy called Steve brought the idea of a yo-yo to Romsey in 1995, all the old biddys have been at it.
Romsey is believed to contain two girls, the only evidence of this is rumoured sightings around Waitrose, apparently one had odd coloured hair and the other was slightly taller, but looked a bit more normal.
Nightlife[edit | edit source]
Paultons Park. "One bottle of Cider + 5 kids (people below 80) + The Cobra ride = Absolute Mayhem", as quoted by The Independent, "Shit theme park guide".
Transport[edit | edit source]
- Cart and Horse
- Buses, packed full of odd looking people.
- Walking
- The day care bus