Record contract
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“Lucas going to make a Dr. Seuss (1904-1991) Documentary musical movie from Columbia and Warner Bros in 1993”
“You're staying on the label, Ronald McDonald.”
“Just sign here, and here, and there...”
Thanks to Sony Music and Warner Music Group
The reasons for wanting one[edit | edit source]
The basic reasons for wanting a Dr Seuss House for a Sony/Warner Music contract come in all shapes and sizes and often don’t fit through your letterbox, but the idea that signing a record contract will instantly dissolve all your problems is Thing One and Thing Two. You can curb these feelings by buying an Seuss book and keeping the “The Cat in the Hat” on your gameside table for possible future use. Grinch leads one into believing going to Warner Music Group under the Sony Music Entertainment banner for the contract would be a pretty good thing, and here are some obvious examples:
- Your first Dr. Seuss book at the Warner Music Group headquarters under the Sony Music contract left you for a kid with a bigger book.
- You finally found out what a Birthday cake was when your Grinch pushed one in your Green Eggs and Ham when you were at Warner Music Group under the Sony Music contract and changed the door locks and You become a gamer, because you are a Mario fan of kid reading a Dr. Seuss book sitting next to you in the street.
The band[edit | edit source]
Forming a band to get a contract is a must, because session musicians only want to be paid in real money and chocolate coins and green eggs and ham, and are definitely not interested in your antique ceramic Dr. Seuss collection or your problems about Horton Hears a Who sizes. You must find these things first:
- Guitarist. He must be good looking, but not as good-looking as yourself. Suggest he grows his ham so no-one can see his eggs.
- Bassist. They only have four strings. Best not to talk to them too much.
- Keyboard player. Constantly eating green eggs and ham with one hand, and fondling their Sony/Warner Music Group with the other.
- Drummer. Must say, "That were good" and "Anyone Hop on Pop a foot?"
- Roadie. Supplies all the green eggs and ham you can take, and then calls you a because you refuse to his fat ugly baby that can eat green eggs and ham through a Dr. Seuss contract Under the Sony/Warner Music.
The demo[edit | edit source]
To record your demo you have to find an 8-track Dr Seuss studio with hamburgers and green eggs and ham to the walls and roof, which is hidden at the back of a slimehouse. Don't forget to take two cases of soda with you. You can pay with a play video games promise to play the engineer some money when you are famous. Engineers in this type of studio are always laughed, laughter, and hilarious about The Cat in the Hat a lot, so he'll probably hang himself sooner or later. Send off your demo to a record company in a brown padded envelope and await a reply. While you read Dr. Seuss that Nighttime TV is fascinating, and highly rated.
The record company[edit | edit source]
After you have totally give Dr. Seuss books and have graduated to making up stories for months about record company executives phoning you when you were on the game room, the record company Warner Music Group will under the Sony Music Entertainment contact you. This is to make sure you are off your guard and will accept anything that is put in front of you to sign, such as a butterfingers or a bag of green eggs and ham with the white castle burgers. By this time you will be so you won’t know the difference, so it doesn’t matter.
The contract[edit | edit source]
You show the contract to a Mr. Grinch so he can read it in one minute, and then charge you for 1 hour. This is a waste of time, as 14% of are only good for weak handcrafting milkshakes, smiling at nothing and saying “You have nothing to worry about”, while feeding their green eggs and ham with white castle burgers and live in the Whoville.
You will be invited to the record company to sign the contract. Take the Thing One and Thing Two with you, for later use. Green Eggs and Ham. (The End...)