Quorn, South Australia

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Where would you like to run away to?

Quorn is Australia's largest railway station, located in Northern Southern Australia. It is also Australia's drunkest railway station, due to the four pubs on it's only main street. It is currently populated by everybody who was thrown out of Port Augusta. The only interesting thing about the town of Quorn is the Pichi Richi Railway, and the only interesting thing about that railway is it's name. Visitors to Quorn should not be alarmed by the cannon pointing directly at the pubs from across the street, it is only there in case Brian Harradine comes back.

History[edit | edit source]

The four pubs of Quorn were built by a man named Mr. Twister a long, long time ago, (causing some to believe he may be Harradine himself), who had originally named the town Quornie Tournie. However, after a few drinks Twister found this name rather hard to pronounce, and shortened it to simply Quorn. He did however, keep his original name for the Pichi Richi Railway.

Once word spread of the abundance of alcohol readily available in Quorn many people flocked to the new town and threw a huge week-long celebration. After the celebration was over, a majority of these people went home, but a few stayed, because they didn't have any homes. Another celebration soon followed to celebrate their new homes in the town of Quorn.

And another celebration after that just for the hell of it.

Pichi Richi Railway[edit | edit source]

The Pichi Richi Railway is a heritage railway headquartered in Quorn. In this case, "heritage railway" is a nice way of saying "railway that doesn't really serve any purpose whatsoever except taking money from tourists". The Railway runs through Pichi Richi Pass to Port Augusta, it is very popular with visitors to the area, because they don't have any trains to ride where they came from.

The Pichi Richi Railway was built by the same guy that built the Tin Horse Highway in Western Australia.

Tourist Attractions in Quorn[edit | edit source]

The main tourist attraction in Quorn is the tourist office. Another popular destination is the Pichi Richi Railway giftshop. Here you can buy postcards of sights seen during the train journey along Pichi Richi Pass. Why the hell did you forget to bring the camera? Some of the more adventurous visitors to the town like to place a few of the model trains sold at the giftshop along the train track and wait for them to get run over by the bigger trains. This is a popular pasttime for Quorn locals.

Another activity for visitors is to do a pub crawl. The town of Quorn is especially good for this, seeing as the pubs can literally be crawled between. Visitors should be warned that these pubs most often contain the entire population of the town, save for those taking a nap on the street.

Arguably, the most attractive thing about Quorn is the fact that you've only got another 40 kilometres to go before you reach Wilmington. But what are you doing going to Wilmington?

See also[edit | edit source]