Planet Zoo

Planet Zoo is a 2019 simulation video game developed by BRETTESH game studio Frontier (not the creators of Sonic Frontiers). The game is made for depressed, socially isolated singles that can only sit at their PC and work all day at home. It is a spiritual successor to the Zoo Tycoon games, whose creator, Bluefanggames went into the trash because of the shitty US economic system. As of the absolutely brainrotted year of 2025, the game has sold 5.5 million copies, probably because of the increasing amount of depressed singles.

The Planet Zoo logo depicts a planet with a lion's tail around it, even though it is not scientifically possible for a lion's tail to circumvent the earth.

Gameplay

How to play

The gameplay revolves around trying to not go bankrupt in the first hour, or else you quit your Zoo and never continue expanding it again. If you have the brain to see a button that says “Career Mode” you can go through a tutorial. Here, you follow a lazy rich Zoo-owner called Bernard Goodwin. Because he wants to go to the Maldives to drink cocktails all time, the have to deal with the Zoos he has recklessly left behind. Round Brained Zookeepers will try to help you fix and open new Zoos, if you know how to build a Zoo. If you don’t understand anything by the time the complete the first level, you better hope you haven’t played over the 2 hour mark. Otherwise you can keep this game on your PC the end of time, knowing you just wasted 50$. After completing the unpaid work you can begin your own Zoo, if you didn’t run a Zoo into the ground already. There are probably over a million animals to choose from, but only if you have the riches of Elon Musk to buy 20 pointless DLCs. Here you can waste your time knowing you will never have the possibility of actually becoming a zookeeper. People sit at their desk for 2 days straight to post a nice build to Reddit and get like 1 comment and 4 upvotes.

The big challenge of the game is to make sure your computer is going to survive. The animals have superpowers like flying and walking through walls if the animal count is 2000. This is because together is better.

Bears flying in their natural habitat

Setting

How long Zookeepers have to walk in an average zoo

The game takes place in the Far future, by the time teleportation and time travel have been invented. People teleport to your Zoo, because they don’t have the balls to walk 10’000 km through desert, jungle and mountains. It is rumoured that the Humans in planet Zoo have teleportation pads in their homes, so they can teleport to any zoo they want. Zookeepers are forcefully teleported and hired to your Zoo if you want to have staff. You can treat them as badly as you want. The only thing that matters is that the staff are paid the lowest wages possible.

Development

After Bluefangames died, the Zoo Tycoon IP ended up in the hands of Microsoft, which forced Frontier to make a new Zoo Tycoon game in 2013. The result was the biggest hunk of garbage the gaming world had ever seen. Despite ZT3 being absolutely pointless, Frontier had the audacity to give this lifeless corpse updates. Eventually they realised what they created was as bad as 2025. Thus, they threw all the DLC and the base game to create a full version in 2017, just so they wouldn’t get shut down by Microsoft, not that Microsoft buys developers and pushes them into the toilet. After that, Frontier said, “Fuck it, I ain’t your friend anymore” and preceded to try to not work for greedy corporations. After the devs had got better at programming, they decided to make a new Zoo game which wasn’t as bad shit. Using RTX 9000, they made the perfect experience for people trying to stay alone and sad.

Reception

Planet Zoo received highly favourable reviews at release. The Main reactions were «This is the worst pathing system I have even seen in a game » and «if only the game didn’t have a nonillion animal renders, my house wouldn't have burnt down. »

The Game was praised for hyper realistic graphics that will make you ram your head into the PC, and being easy to learn (if your name is Albert Einstein).

The dark side , of the moon?

An image created by Letsgameitout on the moon showing his lovely giraffe, few seconds before he died.

At the time of the games release, people like Josh (Letsgameitout) misinterpreted the game as an animal abuse Programm. "Let’s game it out" used it as a way to cram giraffes into spaces so small, that the formed a giraffe hydra. This caused the brutal death of the giraffes. To fulfill his madness even more, he trapped approximately 67 people in a tunnel never to be seen again. He was immediately arrested by the authorities, which investigated his entire house for crimes. In prison, he created a moon Zoo, by hijacking a rocket and bringing 3 giraffes with. Once he landed, he died of low oxygen. Since then, a clone of his has operated his YouTube channel.

“I dunno if we get to leave this”

– Josh before he died

“and then they get pressed into a single space destined to be a monster forever”

– Josh on the giraffe hydra

See Also

•Zoo

•Zoo Tycoon