Pani Poni Dash!
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Pani Poni Dash! is a thought provoking, intellectually written and provocative Japanese drama. It has been awarded merits like for hottest gym uniforms and has been voted anime of the eternity everywhere in the Eastern world, including North Korea. It was created by Vladimir Lenin at the turn of the Russian revolution. But since it has nothing to do with Japan, it was shelved yet finally accuired by Sailor Moon and Oscar Wilde in cooperation with Hilary Duff, Raven-Symone and Miley Cyrus in the name of Neo-Communism.
Main plot[edit | edit source]
The plot revolves around the psychopathic Harry Potter look-alike Lezard Valeth of Valkyrie Profile fame and glory. His tower was destroyed by the forces of You and Your mom by means of masturbation. All of his research on becoming a god and raping his dream girl Lenneth were destroyed in the process. Nonetheless, he cremated them alive and used their flesh to erect a new laboratory called "Momotsuki Academy", and there he creates a fuckload of homunculi by blatantly ripping off other nerds like Edward Elric and Harry Potter. But he also accidentally added in stuff like turpentine, pickled troll heads, Chemical X, semen and weed killer which resulted in a huge disaster even worse than Chernobyl or the Titanic sinking or orgies combined. The homunculi were made fucked up and forced to become educated and wear crap like sailor fuku and be bored and lectured to death. Eventually, a sweet little Japanese-American girl named Rebbeca Miyamoto and the Easter Bunny along with Raine Sage, Sunny Bridges, and Fayt Leingod are commissioned as teachers to do what they obviously do. This starts this fucking anime series and the rise of Neo-Communism.
Characters[edit | edit source]
Rebbeca Miyamoto - a sweet little Japanese-American girl commissoned to teach at Momotsuki Academy. Her vomit-inducing smile and lesbian history make anyone gouge out their eyes. Because whoever runs the school is a lazy bum who hires an 11 year old as a teacher. Even worse is that another school hired some 10 year old Welsh brat who does cheap parlor tricks.
Raine Sage - a half-elf who quit teaching a certain Lloyd Irving in a backwater temple village to go the big time. She is addicted to ancient shit no one cares about. Because of the lazy owner who would ever hire a half-elf as a teacher, she is even more awkward in Japan. So she was hired as a lunch lady to make assorted poisonous substances known to give people the runs.
Sunny Bridges - a former horrible singer who was a former horrible music teacher in a backwater school for horribly gifted kids. Because of the lazy owner, his African-American heritage in Japan is considered sinful, that's why he is progressively hunted down by the Diet and forced to wear a hot PE uniform, complete with bloomers!
Fayt Leingod - a useless wimpy kid from some crap RPG hired to design the hot PE uniforms the homunculi wear during slavery hour. Because of the lazy owner, a wimp would never have done good in the tight-assed Japanese society.
Raving Rabbids - Animal janitors that are around the school to clean up other people's mess. They are suspected to take down emo bunnies and send them to Marilyn Manson, using plungers. They don't give a shit if they hit other students because other students are filthy anyways.
Pikachu - One of Rebecca's Experiment animals that happen to charge electricity. Nobody knows that it likes to masturbate inside a small orb.
Chuck Norris - Ichijou's idol. She wanted to be Chuck Norris's student at one point in time. However, she can only imitate unintentionally, like making a city explode with her random mind, summon Bruce Lee at random, resurrect people at random who have been hit with the Shun Goku Satsu, and so forth.
Haruhi - A science teacher in class 6-9 instructing the supernaturals of the world. If you are in her class, you have a high chance of failing her class. If you ask questions, you will fail. If you disagree with her, you will fail.
The other characters don't even matter.
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- Lezard Valeth was eaten alive and puked out by the homunculi lunch ladies and made into mystery meat.
- The whole communism thing has no point whatsoever.
- You were just ripped off.
- Vote 5 for Strawberry Clock.
- The Easter Bunny wears curlers to bed.
- The "Momotsuki dance" is also known as the Moonwalk, minus Michael Jackson.
- Kim Jong Ill was a substitute teacher for Government. We all know what happened to his students.