Number alphabet

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
This article is, like, fucking perfect.
You can edit it if you want, but try not to mess it up.
YOU!.jpg
Saddam says death by hanging!

Saddam — the eternal ruler of New Texas — has personally reviewed this article, together with his lover Satan, and thinks YOU should be hanged for creating, editing or even reading this article.


Truth blue.png
This article, and everything it implies, is the truth on the matter.

The number alphabet is an alphabet of numbers (duh), and looks like this:

1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 5, 7, 8, 9, 10, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 23, 24, 26, 25, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 34, 36, 35, 37 ....

And the list goes on and on. and on.

The number alphabet race[edit | edit source]

Held once a year, the race is ran by those who can't yet walk. Sometimes you must run before you can walk, or even crawl. It is ment to increase babies' knowledge of numbers and the multiverse of madness.

The winner is the one who can say out loud the first 91 numbers first. For a race, there is an awful lack of movement. But they say those that fall asleep partway through can get beaten by a tortoise! That is no longer true... if it ever were.

Of course, to allow fairness, those who can talk are considered too smart, meaning that they cannot participate.

For unknown reasons, these races seem to have a lack of winners, since nobody talks in them. Nobody knows why, and that is because people are too dumb to understand anything.

The numberbet race[edit | edit source]

A drawing of a numberperson. This one looks like a 2. No, wait...

These strange aliens, called numberpeople, live in the wikiplanet called uncyclopedia, and are grate! They allow water to pass through them, but not people, just like air does, which can also have cloud numbers in it! Rocks have the same effect as air, as does suicide.

The past is a gift to them, which is why they call it the "present".

Their shape is a random number. The number matches the smallest, positive number not yet taken by a numberperson.

Based on the similarities to paper, they are considered to be made of sand.

Their existance is theorized to be false, even though proof has been made of their existance, especially in sandboxes and beaches.

They are said to be stinky and irritating, and totally exist. Another name is the sandman, or the bogey woman. Both work, as numberpeople are multi-gendered, just like humans. After all, we come as boys and girls. Wait, that's not what my science teacher said...

Notes[edit | edit source]

The trick to remember is: any number that is pronounced with a "five" (pronounced "fi-v-e") sound in it must come after the next number that includes a six. But, as everyone pronounces words differenty, the number alphabet (also known as the numberbet) changes a bit from accent to accent.

An example that every robot gets wrong is: 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 76, 65, 75

Which is wrong for obvious reasons. It is probably a bug of the software.

Also, repeating numbers are not allowed: 11, 22, 33, 44, 55, 66, 77, 88, 99, 111, 222 ect.. However, 122, 122222222222222222222222, 133, ect. are allowed, since they contain two different numbers, and only one repeats. It is planned this bug will be fixed, but we are too energetic to do so, and programmers are so lazy, some recently forgot to walk.

Ah, yes, the numberbet is made with a computer program.

Common typos include the numberbed, the alphabet and the 1, 2, 3s.

History[edit | edit source]

Numbers are just as important as letters, we all know! So, why do letters have a list, but not numbers? WHY?

So, some random guy posted original research (gasp!) on uncyclopedia, and it all started.

Some people (like you) think it didn't get a list because of the sheer size of such a list! After all, numbers go on to infinity, but they can't go beyond infinity. What is this, disneyland? So the concept of a numberbet doesn't really work, unless... You only show the first hundred million numbers! It might work, although the resulting paper would be ever so slightly too large, being the size of the moon! Perfect for cool babies still learning their numbers! If they don't want to sleep, they just look up to the moon, and it will make them want to be astronauts!

Looking ahead[edit | edit source]

By 2035, the paper to be stuck onto the moon will be completed. Probably. They are currently on number 240 and counting. I hope the writing is large enough that we can read it from earth when put onto the moon.

A numberbet for home and day use is planned to be mass produced soon, sometime in 4056, when they shrink writing to me super small. They will then invent shrink rays a hundred years later, so we can read the smaller writing as smaller people. It will make it a little easier to read, and the moon can be restored to a point that it looks a bit more natural.

See also[edit | edit source]