No Pressure

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
No Pressure
NoPressureBanner.png

The banner led many to believe that the film was about three men in fashionable polyester jackets robot dancing. If only, if only...

Directed by Dougal Wilson
Written by Richard Curtis and Franny Armstrong
Starring Rich idiots and schoolchildren
Produced by 10:10
Distributed by 10:10
Release date 1 October 2010
Runtime 4 minutes too long
Language English, screaming
Budget They spent money on this?
IMDb page


No Pressure was a short film that was part of a highly counter intuitive advertisement campaign on global warming. Unlike other advertisement campaigns on reducing carbon emissions that discuss global warming and what we can do to stop it, or use aging politicians, the producers of the short film, 10:10, opted for a more "original" approach. While other public service announcements already used scare tactics to promote their cause, the makers of No Pressure skipped the middle man and had people graphically blown into bloody bits and pieces. To be more specific, the makers of No Pressure had people apathetic about Global warming blown into bloody bits and pieces. Though the short film was supposed to have an anti-global warming message, people have yet to find it under the pile of blood and guts.

Unsurprisingly, many people, including environmentalists, were peeved at the message of the film ("if you're even vaguely unenthusiastic about global warming, you deserve to die a horrible death"). 10:10, the makers of No Pressure, responded to their criticizers stating that it was meant to be "a funny and satirical tongue-in-cheek little film in the over-the-top style of Monty Python or South Park", because everyone remembers the scene where John Cleese brutally murders two school children for being mildly apathetic about climate change.

Development[edit | edit source]

The conference room where the film was conceptualized. Notice the lack of fluorescent lights. Hypocrites.

Background[edit | edit source]

According to the makers of the film, No Pressure was a satire of the prevailing "no pressure" attitude towards climate change common in many people, and a criticism of the attitude and how it ignores the urgency of the effects of Global warming. The writers of No Pressure showed how clever satirists they were by having people say "no pressure" before viciously killing others in their vicinity.

Production[edit | edit source]

In an air conditioned (tisk tisk) meeting room inside the 10:10 campaign headquarters, several individuals of questionable sanity sat around a conference table to discuss making a short film about reducing carbon emissions by 10%. These probably misanthropic individuals had to think of a proper method of convincing people to reduce their carbon emissions in a way that would get people's attention without boring them; some ideas were tossed around, most of them scrapped, and a few considered for green-lighting. Through a convoluted series of illogical steps and thought processes which most likely included the words "explosions", "audience","morons", and "more explosions", the individuals had thought of the basic concept for their short film: shit exploding.

The makers of what was soon to be called No Pressure faced another conundrum: "how can we express the basic concept of the film while deceiving the audience into believing we actually have a coherent message?" Through another convoluted series of illogical steps and thought processes that likely made the previous series of illogical steps and thought processes cry for its mother, the producers thought of the plot for the film: people apathetic about global warming exploding. After the makers of No Pressure dealt with the silly, pesky things like the plot and the script, they were ready to hire some talented young actors and actresses (read: gullible morons) to play the parts. Luckily for 10:10, the foolish thespians performed their services at no cost, fooled into believing that they're actually promoting environmentalism.

The Film[edit | edit source]

Take that global warming!

Young Pupils Explode![edit | edit source]

The film starts innocuously enough, with a desperately-trying-not-to-be frumpy teacher talking to her pupils about 10:10, a program about reducing your carbon footprint by 10%. She then suggests methods of reducing carbon emissions to the students (hint hint). Other than the awful lighting and the shameless self-promotion, the film (at first) seems okay, and a nice aversion from other PSAs where the kids are the ones are being preachy. The teacher asks all the students who want to do something for 10:10 to raise their hands, and in an outstanding show of hive mind mentality, almost everybody raises their hands, except for a few miserable buggers, who are probably apathetic at the teacher discussing emissions again. The teacher asks those who aren't interested in the program to raise their hands to single out the Earth-hating children. Before the students leave, she reveals a mysterious red-buttoned detonator. After what can only be called an awful case of teacher abuse, she casually gives her traumatized pupils their homework while they scream in horror.

Employees Explode![edit | edit source]

It's a good thing that that golden tied man died; he was wasting valuable resources that could've been spent on the strapping young gent to the right of him.

For those who haven't immediately closed their browsers in disgust at the sight child murder, the film cuts to a scene of some sprightly young employees listening to a speech by their manager. The manager asks those with a show of hands who wants to get involved in the tree saving tithing program, and those who aren't yet convinced. After his secretary gives him a mysterious-red buttoned detonator, he detonates four of his Earth-hating employees, saving them from the torture of having to go through Human Resources.

French Guy Explodes![edit | edit source]

In this scene, French football manager David Ginola gets turned into bloody bits by actors portraying B-list athletes in cameo after refusing to reduce his carbon emissions. Unlike the other scenes in which the onlookers are in shock, they continue on their merry way as if nothing had happened, proving once and for all that racially charged crimes are okay if they're under the guise of cleansing the world of pollution.

Musical Interlude[edit | edit source]

The film then transitions to a short interlude accompanied by excerpts of music from Radiohead, with narration lauding all the efforts 10:10 has done to combat global warming. Fortunately for the audience, this must mean that the short film has ended. Now we can compose ourselves after the horrific disaster we just watched. I for one am going to shower twelve times in a—what the hell?

Narrator Explodes![edit | edit source]

Cut to a scene where the narrator of the musical interlude is recording her lines. Aren't those writers clever? I wonder what's going to happen? Perhaps something explosion related? Maybe they'll do something else? To no one's surprise, we see that the narrator is apathetic about 10:10, and that the sound engineer has the same red-buttoned detonator. Because cold-blooded murder in the name of saving mother Earth is quite popular with sound engineers, he kills the narrator, sending bloody gibs into the window separating the two. The film ends (finally) with the text "cut your carbon emissions by 10%. No pressure." Instinctively, most of the audience raises their hand in fear.

Reception[edit | edit source]

The last thing someone promoting a cause should use.

Unsurprisingly, many moral guardians and sensible people alike were not pleased with the graphical depictions of violence in the short film. Others were unimpressed at the high levels of gore and preferred that their violence at least have a semblance of context or relevance to the subject. Many critics challenged the film maker's claim that it was meant to be comedy, as the film has more in common with sociopathy than humor, which would be fine if the film had anything humorous about it. Coincidentally, people who do think that raining flesh upon terrified people is funny are sociopaths. Because most sponsors don't want to be involved with anything that has to do with murder, much less murder being filmed, almost all the groups and companies that supported 10:10 retracted their support. In retrospect, No Pressure turned out to be a complete failure, showing that if you're making a PSA, be subtle about it.