Medical Field
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The Medical Field is located in Columbia somewhere over the river and through the woods, past grandmother's house, to the west of the Oompa Loompa village over Smurf Mountain, just around the river bend next to a contraband of robotic MacGyver loving communists. In order to correctly locate the medical field, one must step through the door of a little shack and shout, "WORKED UP SO SEXUAL!" as loud as possible. A few moments afterward a little white monk named Fred will take you over the River Styx and, alas, you are there.
Dangers[edit | edit source]
The Medical Field is one of the most dangerous places in the cosmos, which is why God made it so hard to find. The first thing you may notice when you reach it is the mounds of bodies lying all over in sporadic lumps. It can only be assumed that these are the victims of Medical Malpractice.
Things to beware while crossing the Medical Field[edit | edit source]
- Mad Scientists
- The Great Depression
- Monsoons
- Syringes
- Robot Chicken
- Turn-based RPGs
- Illegal Aliens
- etc.
After Crossing the Medical Field[edit | edit source]
If you successfully cross the Medical Field, it is said that you become The King Of All Cosmos, but none of this is completely certain; everyone who attempts to is turned into a giant teed who eats Oompa Loompas to live.
The only person in the whole world to ever successfully cross the medical field is Michael Jackson, but he turned around when he found out he couldn't molest little boys anymore. It is assumed that his current appearance is blamed on this.
The Purpose[edit | edit source]
The only purpose for the medical field is the disposal of corpses involved in medical malpractice. It is also a burial ground for all winners of the Hi-Ho award. The medical field is also where every instrument used in Operation! come from; most of the instruments can be found near the mounds of rotting corpses.