Long sentences

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This picture, showing us a photo-shopped picture of cat wearing a Nazi uniform that has a close resemblance to a cat that wears a Nazi uniform, is called Kitler by his owners and none of this has anything to do with long sentences, however the joke isn't even about that, nor about the 4th wall breaking of the author acknowledging his lazy attempt of 4th wall breaking, but the intended joke here is that this is just a picture of a Nazi cat and that there is no joke, and it's not funny either.

A long sentence is an ancient torture device used mainly in literary and other such nerd shit for the sole purpose of wasting the time of a potential reader with pointless meandering and hundreds and hundreds of filler words and character and event descriptions and repetition and silly meaningless no-brainers and also repetition, thus dragging the sentence on-and-on for ridiculous lengths without ever actually getting to the point, to the great dismay of the reader who's already eager to get to the point and frustrated over the fact that they'll soon have to read the sentence through again since somewhere along the way of the reading experience as they missed an important word or their general focus just failed or the author just made an intentional grammar error somewhere on the latter half of the sentence just to fuck with the reader for they no longer have any idea what is being said however upon re-reading they soon realize that the author is merely fucking with them and the fault is not actually the reader's, also repetition. They're the hyperactive product of many sleepless nights and gallons of coffee, or either are just written by some underage twat who doesn't quite yet grasp how grammar works or just thinks they're really funny and original with lame and easy and random and self-referential meta-"comedy". Also, you're a penisface.

Long words in long sentence - but how?![edit | edit source]

Long sentences often utilize certain long words which the reader has never even stumbled upon before, as using long words will make the sentence go on for so much longer and increases the possibility of the reader having to google up a weird sounding adjective or such in order to understand a general point of a sentence which actually isn't even there as the author is merely trying to show off. Long words are kind of like short words, but, they're actually not, since long is an opposite of short, even though "long" only consists of 4 letters and is actually kind of a short word.

Listing and repeating the list of the repeated lists[edit | edit source]

This girl here has a very long list, and although this isn't a fact, it can be assumed that this very long list has several items repeated on it, like "Learn Hungarian," "Learn Hungarian," "Learn Italian," "Learn Hungarian," "Learn Finnish," "Learn Hungarian," "Learn Hindi," "Learn Hungarian," "Learn German," "Learn German," "Learn Hungarian," "Learn French," "Learn French," "Learn Chinese," "Learn Hungarian," "Learn Vietnamese," "Learn Hungarian," "Learn Romanian," "Learn French," "Learn Turkish," "Learn Greek," "Learn Arabic," "Learn Turkish," "Learn Basque," "Learn Cebuano," "Learn Hungarian," "Learn French," "Learn Russian," "Learn Hungarian," "Learn French," "Learn Russian," "Learn Ukrainian," "Learn Russian," "Learn Hungarian," "Learn Ukrainian," "Learn Hungarian," "Learn Polish," "Learn Hungarian," "Learn Polish," "Learn Polish," "Learn Ukrainian," "Learn Urdu," "Learn Hungarian" and "Learn Hungarian," you understand my point.

Listing and repeating are two very important techniques used in order to increase the length of a sentence and are almost as important as the technique of insidiously side-tracking away from the original purpose of the sentence to something else entirely for the purpose of once again lengthening the sentence with confusing remarks that seem to come out of nowhere about for example the ceramic turtle at the corner of your bed room which I've been staring at throughout the entirety of writing this article with drool dropping from the corner of my mouth in huge streams since, if I may be honest, I'm quite aroused by the idea of decorating my apartment with your ceramic turtle and don't you even intend to kink-shame me you fascist pig. Anywhoo.. yeah...

Heh. Heheheh.

Using other sentences in one sentence; cool or just annoying?[edit | edit source]

This has annoyed and, in fact, still keeps annoying millions of linguists and readers world-wide, but I, personally, think it's actually quite cool.

My uncle[edit | edit source]

This sentence about my uncle is practically a sentence within another sentence, which is usually seperated with a dash, although this really is a section within a section, just like Shakespeare put a play within a play in Hamlet. Anyway, my uncle has this medical condition called pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, which is defined as "a factitious word alleged to mean 'a lung disease caused by the inhalation of very fine silica dust, causing inflammation in the lungs.'" My uncle was Welsh, a Welshman from the Welsh city of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, and he worked night and day in the coal mines of Wales, and although he did find a ton of coal, he also inhaled copious amounts of fine silica dust, which was how he contracted pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.

Stream of consciousness[edit | edit source]

This book is a great example of the stream of consciousness technique, which is one of the most unique techniques in literature if I do say so myself, which I do, and also Ulysses was just one hell of a book because it covers the events of a single day, June 16, 1904, the most exciting day in literature, and spans almost every aspect of twentieth century Irish life in just 1,082 pages.

Stream of consciousness was a literary technique created by James Joyce, who was an Irish writer with bad eyesight and extreme drinking problems who lived from 1882 to 1941, and created one good novel but I believe that as his eyesight worsened, his work gradually became less coherent. Anyway, stream of consciousness was used mostly in Ulysses, and it featured painfully looooooooooooong run-on sentences conveying all sorts of areas to cover the character's complete psyche, which although beautifully explained the character's true nature at the same time it made hard to put down the book to see how the chicken pot pie was doing.

Example: -He affirmed his significance as a conscious rational animal proceeding syllogistically from the known to the unknown and a conscious rational reagent between a micro- and a macrocosm ineluctably constructed upon the incertitude of the void.

Now while you were reading this, some terrible things happened to you, I'm not saying just yet who did it, but terrible things happened[edit | edit source]

Somebody not only stole your ceramic turtle, but also stole your TV, cat, dog, hamster, your fish - all six of them, Harry, Larry, Jerry, Barry, Terry and Señor Pescado - as well as your DVDs, videocasettes, guitar, your favorite 1908 Smith & Wesson revolver, your video games, all the seasons of the Simpsons you own - Season 5, Season 6, Season 7, Season 8, Season 9, Season 10, Season 11, Season 12, Season 13, all gone from your sight now, and now somebody else is laughing at the show's golden age instead of you - and somebody stole your iPod, your potatoes, your chicken, your fish sticks, your Lays, your beer, your fan and even your pillow, your pillow man, your pillow, those bastards, they stole your pillow, the thing you sleep on every night, goddamn, you gotta call the cops.

In the mean time, you can hang at my place, I got a computer, couch, TV, Netflix, a heater, a wrestling mat, soup, pizza, cheeseburgers and a bench I stole from a bus stop, which is a funny story of how I got it, I'll have to tell you it when you come.

See also, or read, if you don`t mind spending your precious lifetime on something like these articles after this, sentence[edit | edit source]