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Valerie Illich Postakovskaia
Julia Louis-Dreyfus (2078586922).jpg
VIP during her pre-Veeping period.
1st VIP of the Universe
Personal details
  • VIC, VIS
Political party VIP
Spouse(s) VIP
Alma mater VIU

Valerie Illich Postakovskaia (VIP) is a very important Uzbek person from Uzbekistan. She is the cleaning lady of the stairs of the sixth-lowest building in the country, and shares the same initials as her husband, Mr. Vladek Illich Postakov, a fan of the soccer team Uzbekski Uzbek FC. She is the only person in the history of the world who has earned their VIP status by name. She will not represent Uzbekistan in the upcoming Gay Eurovision Song Contest, as she is straight and cannot sing at all. Postakovskaia has no Wikipedia article as of 2021, and no Uncyclopedia article as my shoes are still on. She is a fan of Iggy Pop and the Manic Street Preachers, and is able to cook a decent chicken soup. As for her soul, Postakovskaia is a very good person as it seems, but still she tends to go into her mother's fridge uninvited now and then.

Biography[edit | edit source]

Very little is known about Postakovskaia's biography, as she still lacks a proper Wikipedia article of her own. All is known is that she's a presumably make believe woman whom may or may not exist, at any point in time. Still, Postakovskaia is considered a VIP by every other sane non-Postakovskaia person, as she is a person and therefor important by definition. She's more important than most of the non-persons of the universe, such as the White House or Mount Everest. Postakovskaia is also very important, as she is a lady female and has a brain and other girly important stuff.

Legacy[edit | edit source]

Much is known about Postakovskaia's legacy. She would have been/was a very human human being and have/had a very personal personality. Is she more important than the Pope, or Donald Trump? Obviously yes. My left testicle is more important than Donald Trump, and it's not even a person, only an organ. Even if Postakovskaia had an extremely awful personality, she'd still be more important than Trump. And she doesn't. I know because I invented her. She even has a cute big ol' butt and all.

In popular culture[edit | edit source]


Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • Wikipedia's logo is made of the initials VVIP, and also some other letters. VVIP stands for Vannabe Valerie Illich Postakovskaia, which is Wannabe Valerie Illich Postakovskaia in Nazi accent.

Categories[edit | edit source]

VIP is so very important, that her categories have their very own title. All Hail to Her Majesty, Valerie Illich Postakovskaia!