Interrupting cow

“Wow what a great audience!”

~ Jimmy Valmer

For decades the interrupting cow has been MOOOOOOO destroying jokes and taking lives for years. For years researchers have been trying to discover some useful way to find out how to use the interrupting cow.

What is it?

The "Interupting Cow joke is a knock knock joke:

a. Knock-knock

b. Who's there?

a. The interupting cow

b. The interu-

a. MOOOOO!

History

This joke is told far and wide by anyone MOOOO who has an IQ less than 12. Or they are either incredibly intoxicated.

Lore from many small farming villages in Sweden have produced the following tale as to the origin of the joke:

A wise and honorable young man grew within our midst, known to have wisdom and insight well beyond his years. As the knowledge of his wisdom began to spread around the region, many people would travel far distances to seek guidance and wisdom from the self-proclaimed sage. At first, the young man found the pleas and petitions very enjoyable and gave him great joy. As he grew older, he became more cantankerous and liked the sage title less and less. By the time he reached the age of 45 (quite old in our village, mind you), he stopped giving advice.

The first to visit him on that fateful day was a new farmer from a village many kilometers away. He asked of the sage "sage, my cows are not producing enough milk and we have already lost one to disease. Please tell me how we can cope?". The sage stared at the farmer and thought silently for a good many minutes. He then opened his mouth and said to the farmer, "Knock knock?""

According to the lore, the wise old man slipped into a state of constant agitation and would only repeat the interrupting cow joke for any plea or petition.

He thought it was hilarious.

Known Studies

Several men have tried to study this unique piece of history to unlock its secrets. Many think if the joke is told at the right time then the person who told it will then turn into the continuum transfunctioner. (See also: Dude, Where's My Time Machine?).

Many scholars at the University of Wasted Time find that this joke can be viewed with the equation: $ab+llama$, where

$a=funnyfactor$ $b=timing$ $llama=atopsecretcodethatonlyaliensfromUranusknowof$

A third group which shall not be named had this to say about the interrupting cow: "Snape kills Dumbledore."

A fourth group did extensive studies and determined that the third group previously mentioned "have absolutely no idea to what they refer and subsequently are full of crap."

A fifth and sixth group, who are good friends of the third group, found out about this and got the fourth group fired. Then there was a party.

A seventh group says it doesn't matter how many idiots get together in groups, they're still wrong.

Myths

Many myths can be found about the interrupting cow. Here are a few common ones:

Interrupting Cows can Cause Seizures

Although the joke is not funny at all and can make you feel sick, this is completely untrue. No woman has ever received a seizure from this joke.

For our cow viewers, yes you are in danger of a seizure along with being my dinner tonight.

Interrupting cows can be defeated with a moose

Many people have tried to fight off an interrupting cow and failed. A man by the name of Joe nicknamed Megatron once attempted using a Moose to counterattack the forces of the interrupting cow. He proposed that if $x-y/12$, where

$x=amountofinterruptingcows$ $y=amountofmeese$ $12=timespacecontinuumfactor$

When he applied these mathematics to the use of the moose, it was 78.29384% successful. His attempt was valiant but he still could not resist this horrible joke.

Later on a man by the name of Gaillelo proposed in 1894 that a new space program code named Star Wars would allow the use of satellites to reflect high powered laser beams(see also Dr. Evil) at the suspected interrupting cow. However he did not calculate the almighty speed of the interrupting cow, which ranges from 2-4 mph. At this rate he was unable to target accurately and now there is a place in the US known as the Grand Canyon. But unknown to mankind, a cat named Mittens filled the Grand Canyon with invisible milk and human hair. Mittens knew a great piece of valuable information - interrupting cows are deathly afraid of the combination of invisible milk and human hair. This is why tourists to the Grand Canyon are no longer accosted by interrupting cows.

Sometimes.

Interrupting Cows Are Cannibalistic

Professor Diem Von Breuhausen, from the University of Southern Johannesdurkistanivilleistan, recently published an article on the recent rumors of cannibalistic interrupting cows which stated

"Sheer and udder lunacy!"

and

"Preposterous!"

and finally

"Is it time for tea?"

A footnote on page 147 gave great insight into the rumors and showed, without a doubt, that interrupting cows are not cannibalistic. However, research into the article showed it was sponsored by a group of interrupting cows in the area of Betelgeuse. They denied the rumors and promptly ate the reporter.

See Also

• You have tw- MOOOOOO!