Hypergraphia

This is an example of a wall of text, which is a common symptom of those who suffer from hypergraphia. However, walls of text are also prevalent in other contexts – this example was found on a video game message board. You know, I can understanding video games as a hobby ... I mean, I love playing video games as much as any other person, but some people make such a religion out of it. I mean, it's really quite absurd. There are people out there who are just convinced that what they are debating serious issues, when all video games are just supposed to be, in essence, are diversions – you know, amusing ways to pass the time. People must be really sad and lonely if they're able to get their knickers in a twist over something as harmless as video games. The worst of the lot, though, are people who spend hours and hours and hours writing video game fanfiction. I mean, come on. The entire Internet doesn't need to know about your lurid sexual fantasies. That kind of stuff should remain in the bedroom after midnight when the rents have gone to bed. The other day Rachel made fun of me for calling parents "rents". She said it's the first time she heard someone actually say it in real life. I don't even know where I picked it up from; it's just something I've been saying my whole life. Anyway, to get back to the topic of religion ...

Hypergraphia is a psychological disorder whereby one continues writing and writing even though one really has nothing to say. One writes even though there may not be any purpose for the writing, but it keeps going just because the person cannot stop. Not much is known about hypergraphia, and it can affect people of any age or race equally. Well, maybe that's not true, but it sounded good at the time. Actually, a lot of things sound really good at the time, but they turn out to not be such good ideas after all. I remember when I was five years old, I thought it would be a good idea to try and cross over some barbed wire into Mr. Johnson's field. Mr. Johnson was my neighbour, you see, and he bred rabbits to sell at his pet shop downtown. I always loved watching him take the rabbits downtown, but I was never allowed to go into the actual field to see how he kept all the rabbits together. So, without thinking necessarily about all the consequences of walking through barbed wire, and I went ahead and try and duck through it. Well, you can imagine what happened next – first my shirt got caught in one of the spikes, and then my hair got caught. I got cut up really bad started yelling really loudly. It's a good thing my dad was off work that day, or I might have been stuck there for a very long time. My dad used to teach philosophy at Wheeling Jesuit University, you see, but the school was closed that day because there was some alien attack or something the day before. I don't remember all the details very clearly; I was very young at the time. The sky got very dark that day ... yeah, that part I remember, but the rest I'm not so sure. My dad came running back home and told me to get into the basement and not to leave until he told me everything was safe outside. I cried for a long time because it was hot and dark in the basement and there was a lot of commotion outside. Of course, I only realised what was really going on a couple of years later, and I somewhat regret that I wasn't paying more attention at the time – an alien attack would have been pretty cool. A lot of weird things do go on at that university, though. I got accepted and went to Yale instead, but a lot of my friends from high school went there and they tell me these weird stories every time we meet for Christmas and summer and stuff. I really don't believe half of it, but they swear on their lives that it's totally true. One story they were telling me is how some priest time-travelled to some point in history and re-wrote the history of the university, or something ridiculous along those lines. I mean, time travel is simply impossible for a number of different reasons. I don't care what anyone says – the logical contradictions that follow from any interpretation of time travel are just irreconcilable, no matter what those morons on Wikipedia say. Anyway, I've learnt not to trust Wikipedia after reading up more about it. I know not everyone likes his style, but I find what Larry Sanger has to say about the future of the website quite interesting. I'm sure it's true that he has some vested interest with his naysaying, but it's true what he says when he mentions that, ultimately, it will be the idiots and trolls that win out because they're the ones who edit Wikipedia the most frequently. Any expert who has time and patience to write a seminal and well-documented article would be better off contributing to a serious publication and not some site like Wikipedia that would sooner revert the edit than leave it up. It doesn't matter much to me, though – I really only use Wikipedia to look up pop-culture stuff that would be tougher to find prowling around the Internet with Google or some other search engine. More often than not, Joel or Mike or one of the Bots will make some throwaway quip on Mystery Science Theater 3000 that I just can't help but go look up because I really want to know what they're referring to. The show is brilliant, seriously! My ex-girlfriend and I used to sit and watch that show all the time. It's a pity she dumped me for that lumpy mattress – I don't even remember what his name was. According to her, I wasn't taking the relationship seriously enough. Well, if you ask me, she was taking the relationship too seriously. We were both only fifteen at the time, for heaven's sakes, it's not like we were about to get married. I don't feel bad, though. She was really cute and funny and all, but I was really getting irritated, too, with how seriously she was taking our relationship. If you ask me, too many people are overly concerned with getting a boyfriend or a girlfriend or whatever, and they lose focus of things that are more important when one is young. But, that's just my opinion. I'm not trying to force anyone to change their ways. In fact, I'm happy for people who are able to find a serious, caring relationship and are able to continue with it for a long time. A lot of people delude themselves into thinking that their relationship is working, of course, including my mum and dad, who chugged along for the longest time without noticing that the things left unsaid were beginning to pile up. Sometimes all it takes is to talk things out and get things out in the open, you know? A lot of people just don't seem to bother with that, though. Crap, I'd better get going soon, or I'm going to be late meeting Ben. He was pretty pissed the last time that happened. He's the kind of person that runs everything like clockwork, you know? Keeping on schedule, making sure nothing runs longer than it should  ...

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See also

• You can take a look at the Unlimited Unstory, which I think is a fine example of collective hypergraphia. Well, maybe it doesn't qualify as hypergraphia at all because it's a lot of people writing it, but it kind of exhibits the same sort of characteristics that one might see when reading work done by people that actually do have hypergraphia. Frankly, I'm not sure of the exact definition myself, because I'm not a psychologist or anything, but I'm sure there are plenty of well-educated people out there that could point you in the right direction, or maybe you could try and look it up on the Internet or something. Which reminds me ...

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