Forum:Just wondering
I thought I had a point, but I have been illuminated. I have to rely upon my own twisted self-involvement. It's a wonder that BENSON has not reworked my brain yet. But I've found my happy thought! Some day all the Gods are going to have to fight it out amongst themselves instead of using us poor monkey-people. I haven't felt so well-used in a long time. Probably disposable. I have discovered evidence of the c***l. It is intelligent. It has eaten at the 4-D BENSON House of Pancakes and it left a generous tip. It is not an answer. It is not a question. It is not a grue. BENSON knows who this is - I have faith. I don't know who this is. But it knows that BENSON did all his mighty works to give hope to us poor idiots. It has tried to discover the number of ways to flip pancakes repeatedly to reverse their order, but in 4-D, it failed. The answer came to be known as the number of the feast, but it depends on the integer "n". You cannot beat the c***l. It doesn't exist, or does, like "no pineapples". I have none in my refrigerator, so they do sort of not-exist. Like the c***l. It is just a good idea to see if we can get away with it. The question is, when a God talks to Himself, is He praying? And does BENSON call his mother sometimes? The c***l wants to know how so many got to be so clever and how many believe in fairies. Beware the c***l! Did I err?--Schizo Master 03:32, 1 March 2007 (UTC)
- Strewth! Art not the c***l a being whose name is pronounced with asterisks? Was not the preceding sentence a rhetorical question? If not, why not? BENSON gives hope to the puny monkeys, yet the c***l, whatever the heck that is, knoweth not the virtues of putting real maple syrup upon its 4-D pancakes, and it persists in using the blasphemous but admittedly much less expensive "pancake syrup." Understand that if the c***l remembered to clip coupons, it would have no need for such flimsy substitutes. I ask of ye, my friend and master in the ways of Schizo, doth ye see the fnords, or only little bite-sized pieces of them? --
04:22, 1 March 2007 (UTC)
I am but an egg. I have only just now learned of fnords. I especially like "anything can equal anything". No, I thought it obvious what the c***l was. But I guess it's too deep a secret. It appears with the asterisks because it's too dangerous to say plainly. And all members of it used the boysenberry syrup, NOT the offensive "pancake syrup". They plan to return to try the funnel cakes, but it is unclear if BENSON will allow this. Only the cows can save us, except if BENSON himself intervenes to destroy the c***l. If nothing is done, it will win and we'll all end up in Oceania fighting Eurasia or... the other one. Frankly, I think it's out to get us all. Be afraid! Be very afraid! No more kittens! No more points! No more funny! The c***l is the beginning of stupidity, or it might be the end, I'm not sure. I just wondered, if I just said what this piece was about, if it would get deleted. Not that it is! I just wondered. Do they ban you for spreading useless inane propaganda about a c***l that threatens everyone with anarchic revolution even when it does not-exist? "Goosfabah. Goosfabah...."--Schizo Master 13:36, 1 March 2007 (UTC)
- Nay, for only once hath a doomsayer been banned for speaking of the deeds of the c***l. He totally deserved it, for he was a shrill ninny who spewed forth accusations of Uncyclopedia (and, by association, BENSON) being enslaved by the Hebrew Cthulhu, or something like that. Anyway, you need not fear c***l too greatly, at least not in this age of humanity. You say that the cows may yet save us, and so they shall! Fate, or perhaps BENSON, hath intervened and given them a great advantage over the c***l: on the misty, tropical island of Hawaii, near where scientists have turned their eyes to the heavens in hopes of finding the Flying Space Gerbils, there are invisible cows. Yes, they are no mad theory nor the wishes of the hopeful, but a hard, fleshy reality that we can't see with our own eyes! Even the eyes of the c***l cannot see the invisible cows, and with our help, invisible dairy products will be distributed among BENSON's followers to freak them out. Invisible milk, cream, and butter will allow us to create invisible pancakes, or at least mostly invisible. Thus shall the funny be preserved for eternity, unless BENSON presses the Reset button of the universe and starts everything all over again. Anarchy of the c***l is only a threat if we believe in it, much as the American economy only exists if we believe in it, for it hath not a gold standard. Tell me, are these two inextricably linked? -- 21:43, 1 March 2007 (UTC)
I don't know about the gold standard, but I do believe in medical insurance. It pays for my medication. I understand that there are those who do not see the other world and so the cows appear invisible. Some people are not blessed with the ability to see the tiny horses. I was so relieved that this was not a fourth reich. I hate bullies, but I just run away. Of course the c***l does not exist, but the ones who really have to be watched are those attempting to piss up a rope. I don't pretend to know what BENSON is or does. It's not important, as long as he keeps doing it. I'm just glad that I don't have to be BENSON. WAY too much responsibility. I'd rather be a father. But I do wonder why BENSON does not smite the evil squirrel network in the other world. And when is BENSON going to open up the 4-D BENSON House of Pancakes. What time? And does it involve rocketing away from my invisible twin brother at a speed approaching the speed of light, or warp speed? How fast we rocket away when fueled by our own bullshit! The c***l really does not-exist in my refrigerator along side the lack of pineapples. Pregnant women understand this. Give them chocolate and they may let you put your hand on their bellies. That's all from the ward.--Schizo Master 02:49, 2 March 2007 (UTC)
Good god! How many the marks are stations with the BHOP race by a converter of the language before it to appear here? It is like bizarro-englisches. english-german-french-english --Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 05:32, 2 March 2007 (UTC)
- hI guise. yOre pArody of rUssian mAkes at lEast as much oDdness. aYe was talking in a fUnny lAnguage on par wIth yOre rUssian jOke speak. eWesey the aRticle wHich jUstifies my sPeech in much the sAme way as yOre oPus, brO.
Alksub - VFH CM WA RV {talk} 05:57, 2 March 2007 (UTC)
- Well, you've got me there...--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 06:03, 2 March 2007 (UTC)
- I knew you were there somewhere, brO. The Other one wrote the before-stuff, but I've opened a window. He'll be leaving now. We apologize for any confusion immediately preceding the recent coup d'etat. --Schizo Master 00:56, 5 March 2007 (UTC)
- Well, you've got me there...--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 06:03, 2 March 2007 (UTC)