Father Knows Best
Father Knows Best is an interrogation tool developed by the United States in 1949. Portraying the typical idyllic family that was common at the time, it was designed to get into the minds of resistant subjects, depressing them to the point where they can no longer resist telling the truth.
Conception[edit | edit source]
Interrogation was different back then; they didn't have water boarding or electrical tasers, all they had was a billy club and harsh bodily harm of the human body. These methods often produced less than satisfactory results and oftenly lead to supposed criminals being released into the wild. It was reported that the amount of crime throughout the nation was at 80%. This was due to several factors: Mafias that had extensive control over the local government and small time thugs who had bribes working for them.
One person who preferred to be called "Ed James" hated the crime mainly because he had to walk through drive-bys and shootings to get to work, often risking his life in the process. There was nothing that he could do to stop it until one day where he realized that all of these people are just bottling up their emotions and in order for them to stop shooting people, something would have to release that anger; then he had another realization, constantly watching the antics of the neighbors next door would often make him cry mainly because they were representative of the idyllic life that was forgone in exchange for the happy peaceful white picket fence household which was common at the time.
With this knowledge, he traveled to Washington D.C. and presented the US government with a foolproof interrogation method, one which would make people break down on sight. Though he may not have had his details right[1], his eccentric enthusiasm and Hollywood charisma had them hook line and sinker and thus they put the idea into the fast track. Ironing out all the flaws until 1949 where it was first used in the interrogation of famous Gambino mob boss Vincent Mangano, effectively revealing many details which would set the Gambino family back 2 years.
Characters[edit | edit source]
In order to portray that idyllic life, the U.S. Government had to create 4 people that could connect with the hearts of prisoners.
- The agressive father was the titular character; he was designed as an all-knowing being, talking down to their kids and being strict with them. As time went on however, he became softer; often letting his children teach his lessons for him. His character has been cited as an example of a hard-working father and his earnest personality breaks down any walls the criminal might have.
- The caring wife was second alongside the titular father; she was designed so that her position in the family often led to her being in the middle of many situations, many of which were hard to resolve which lead to prisoners emphasizing with her tough resolve.
- The all american male teenager was one who earned earnest money and did stuff such as repair cars and look sexy; he often got into fights and wanted to be a man in the eyes of his father and when he wasn't fighting, he was keeping his strength up and hoping he could get just "a little bit more". His traits would relate to prisoners who worked hard as well as those who spent most of their time in the gym.
- The boy crazy female was designed to be as uncertain as possible, hoping from boy to boy and treating everything like a big deal. She often makes escapades where she would often run away or get into arguments with her parents and her relationships never lasted more than 3 weeks; these traits made prisoners wish she had a better life.
- The young daughter was the silver bullet; designed to be the cutest member of the family as well as the most innocent, she can be seen playing with toys, making natural mistakes and desiring the attention of her father. She was one who would make prisoners break down and cry, saddened that they could not live the life that she had.[2]
Structure[edit | edit source]
Every "episode" was structured in a specific way as to ensure 100% effective interrogation against subjects. First off, an episode started with either a conundrum or an argument; this was designed so that it'd get through the first barrier of defense, the initial resistance. Than after that it would gradually elevate to cute antics or contemptful interaction which would lead to the prisoner being confused, often feeling vulnerable and scared.
Than it'd lead into a situation where the family ignores the real issue or become the real issue themselves. By this point in time, the prisioner should be feeling a mix of emotions; anger, sadness, despair, frustration, those feelings would get stronger throughout the episode to the point where the prisoner starts to lose control. After that it would then lead to a realization or a heartfelt meeting by either the father, mother or rarely, other characters. That is where the prisoner breaks down entirely and begins to let out everything that he knows, thus providing authorities with information they can then use to bust a kitten ring or prevent bank robberies.
In some cases, there would be different variations to the structure at hand. Episodes would often show characters living alone, hiding under beds, going to bus stops and/or talking to other characters; the despair that is felt by these scenes is unimaginable. It would make the toughest criminals cry and weep over how miserable their lives are, how they can't change their lives while on TV everything reverts back to normal and in some rare cases, it would inspire criminals to better their lives and seek out Christ; mainly because they wouldn't want their lives to turn out like what they've seen.[3]
Usage[edit | edit source]
The usage of Father Knows Best has varied. Sometimes it has been used in circumstantial cases such as with mob bosses like Vincent Mangano who was shown the episode where the cute daughter ran off to be an orphan. His reactions could be described as broken, discordant and strong, so much so that his voice was incomprehensible and his tears created a small puddle underneath his tightly restrained chair. Others has seen widespread usage such as after 9/11 when the FBI decided to take many Muslims into custody because they were suspicious subjects; in addition it was also used as torture in Guantanamo Bay where prisoners were subjected to 24-hour marathons, often breaking into tears and in many cases, committing suicide.
Critics have long disputed on the usage of Father Knows Best, some claim that it's inhuman while others claim that the electric chair or breaking a mans arm is more effective. Throughout the years, protests have broke out in Washington D.C. desiring to see the people subjected to Father Knows Best either released or brought back to life if dead. These protests often promote an unclear message to the viewing public[4] and oftenly end in people being arrested and subjected to marathons of said show they were protesting. This has lead to further protests claiming that those protestors shouldn't have been subjected to Father Knows Best because they were protesting Father Knows Best; however, the government have frowned against these protests, stating that they're too complicated and redundant.
Usage as entertainment[edit | edit source]
There are some people who use the series as entertainment, which is dumbfounding considering that the series was mainly made for torture. They also seem to laugh at this show which is odd considering the fact that there are no jokes or laughter from the audience; if that's the case than it must predate comedies from the modern times, especially "The Office" Now how can they enjoy this stuff? Maybe there's a specific group of people who like to watch depressing stuff such as this; I mean think about it, ever since the advent of the internet there have been weird groups of people, I mean just look at the furries, they get their entertainment from animals the same way these people get theirs off of depression; idyllic, heartbreaking depression.
Back then people had to get their fix from accidentally left reels of film or government insider trade but thanks to the advent of the internet and the magic of WikiLeaks, all of the "episodes" are available for viewing on the internet. The government has tried tooth and nail to delete them from the internet, claiming that it'll ruin the integrity of torture but everytime they've tried, alot more copies appear on the internet; they tried to censor the people who were resistant to Father Knows Best but that lead to retaliatory action from the EFF and sites such as Reddit. As of now, the US government has not taken any steps to take down Father Knows Best, some say that SOPA was specifically designed to stop the leakage of Father Knows Best but we'll truly know now will we?[5]
Usage as propaganda[edit | edit source]
There has been only one time where the series was used as US propaganda and that would have to be the "episode" where they promote buying savings bonds. The only one officially released to the public, this has the entire crew acting happy with many scenes discussing how great life is; it promoted savings bonds as a suitable way to be an American in addition to experiencing the bloodshed and manliness that is war, it also promoted several beneficial side effects to saving bonds such as an enhanced lifespan and the increased ability to attract the opposite sex. Ironically, the characters known for being depressing would end up convincing more people than mascots such as Chief Indian and Sombrero D'Amigo; two distinctive, original and timeless characters who appeared in mostly every educational film during the 50's and early 60's. Because of the episode, sales of savings bonds increased 150%.