Didst Thou Ken

Didst thou ken...

... if one would catch flies 'tis better to eschew vinegar and use honey or beefsteak well decayed?
... that a wise man contendeth not with a fool, but striketh him with a large faggot or well proportioned mackerel instead?
... thou art more likely to collapse of the dropsy than to succumb to the wiles of Medusa?
... if thou wert to take a stroll off the edge of the earth, thou wouldst anon fall to the depths of Hell, to be buggered by the Devil?
... if thou feedest a maiden of virtue true, chaste and untouched, to a dragon, the dragon will only want more?
... variety is the spice of life, but sea salt is the proper spice to remove the foul flavor of mold from most meats?
... the iceman cometh, and he cometh hard?
... that it's not the iceman, we have recently been informed that it is in fact the ozzman, to the disappointment of all?
... if thou findest a bag of holding, and holdest it back, it will become sexually excited?
... for whom the bell tolls? It tolls for thee, especially if you dare have the Insanity Frog ringtone.
... that whilst two birds can be killed with one stone, many more can be crushed in a landslide?
... that if Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, pepper prices would plummet below proposed percentage profits?
... that there is much music, excellent voice, in this little organ, yet cannot you make it speak?
... that fortune doth favor the brave, but the Fortune 500 doth favor those deep in coin and shallow of heart?
... that 'tis a braw bricht moonlicht nicht th' nicht, because no bugger'll pay for the heating?
... that first come is first severed?
... that a pox be upon your house?
... that mater hath decreed thou art to be beaten quite insensible?
... olde English filleth my mind, and anon hath I constructed a rhyme of purest funk?
... that thee Kingis Quire?
... that Cardinal Wolsey is himself possessed of but a single Orb?
... that herein lies Alchemie's Innermost Truth, not some thrice-damned and foul devilry of a paltry list!
... you can't get ye flask?
... and anon hiring yon private investigator, Barbie uncover'd thy skulduggery?
... that ye Buggery Act (1533) is not a request?
... that I am with child? Yes, Ken, thou dids't!
... that man bit by dog is rarely considered news, yet dog bit by man is considered witchcraft? Funny olde worlde.
... that I have befoul'd myself, and anon shalt thou be befoul'd?
... I have licked that which you would eat?
... the way to San José? Thou dost? Spaniard!
... that to shift ones vowels thou must clear thy bowels?
... that in ye olde Soviet Russia, vodka drinketh YE!!??
... that most foul of all Godde's creatures is ye Chillax?
... that gneiss resembleth schist? Titter ye not. 'Tis true.
... that yon flatbread-fetching knave hath but a single minute twain? Both monies and flatbreads shall I possess this night, methinks.
... that to try dissent is one thing, but dysentery quite another?
... that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and this beauty hath landed in her hair?
... that witchcraft is a secret jealously guarded by the witchmakers of Swotzerland?
... that I keep wanting to write "ith" instead of "is", even though there is no historical basis for yte?
... thou had'st best enquire of a body? Worde.
... that if scyte is wit, thou art a scyte-wit?
... that 'tis greater than nine thousands?

Didst Thou Ken

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