Diarhea

Diarrhea

There are many misconceptions about diarrhea. First of all, many consider it a disease. Secondly, some consider it a bad thing. In truth, diarrhea is an essential part of weight loss. Many famous pop stars are diarheacs, such as Jennifer Lopez, Ashley Olsen, Hannah Montana, and Lindsay Lohan. Many conspiracy theorists such as Ghandi and Pope Benedict say Paris Hilton is a Diarheac. Yet, most people are opposed to these corrupt ideas. Diarrhea has a long and dark history.

Elijah Wood, an avid shit-eater, is infamous outfamous for his diarrhea.

Origin of diarrhea

The Bean Burrito® of taco bell

Diarrhea was a genetic augumentation created in taco bell in the year 2045 BC used to speed up creation of burritos. Apparently, the fast food slaves weren't creating enough produce to keep up with the flow of customers. Diarrhea was originally synthesized by Paul Muller, who later used this chemical composition to kill insects. He was a low-class chef in taco bell and wanted to impress his boss in order to get a raise. His boss used the formula and created diarrhea, and bean burrito production increased a hundredfold. The critics were impressed with this. Of course, many people noticed how the slave workers could still eat and lose weight like crazy with diarrhea, and it became a large trend. Wars started over the formula, since so many wanted it. It was known to cause gastrointestinal destruction or otherwise known as a gastrointestinal train wreck. Some describe diarrhea as a roller coaster in their colon which results in fecal matter that looks like snow and smells like pine. That is one reason the recipe is coveted so much. Not only can you lose weight, it makes you feel like you are at an amusement park too!!

Diarrhea wars

This was the long struggle between the english and the french, better-known as the 100 years war, which was started because of a fight over the diarrhea formula. Of course, these days, a fight over diarrhea would seem prepostorous, and anyone who would think of fighting over it would seem like a fool. The english and the french Were so humiliated by this fact that they covered up the whole thing with some sham about religious ideals and territorial disputes and what not.

The Crap Compromise

In order to settle disputes over diarrhea, The English and the French made sure everyone had a chance to be infected with diarrhea by putting the formula in rivers, lakes, mosquitos, and other sources from which we can contract diarrhea today. And there was a big "Huzzah!" heard across the world. They put the largest store of diarrhea in Mexico, kept and worshipped by the Aztecs.

This was where the pope had to interject. Continued in the next episode of Diarrhea!

The Interjection

After thousands of years of shitting and eating that shit, people began to question the whole point and the morals behind it. The pope was the first to do so. He thought "Why are we bathing in our own shit?!!! It's fucking Disgusting!!!" Of course, many consider this speech to be heresy, and so the written record of this speech was removed from the vatican archives and placed in the dark reaches of hollywood; The vatican knew that this speech could later be used in a blockbuster movie. Then people began noticing how disgusting eating shit was. Just listen to your nose! At this time, around 1500 AD, people all began to actually use their nose. This is because before then, no one ever thought of picking their nose, so they got so stuffed up, they couldn't smell. The pope at the time, however, had a strange, never before seen, tendency of picking it. He was the first human being to smell. After a long speech, the pope had replaced eating shit with picking noses. So, whenever you see someone picking their nose, realize they are holy people, and that you must worship them since they are holy people. Do not throw stones at them and call them dorks, drop to your knees and bow to them. After all, they are holy messengers.

The chemical formula of diarrhea

Most people, like Ghandi and the pope say this should have been the first section of the article. Others say it should be here instead. Why is it here? check on more about positions of sections at your local abandoned warehouse. I'm sure they have books on that somewhere in those large warehouses. Anyways, on to the formula. The chemical formula for diarrhea looks like so: E-A2hy64shIt<y0u-r3Pa7nt-s<H2O-A<3H<A!--H<-=A!^2

Later, another, more simple method for creating diarrhea was invented. The newer formula looked like so: P0-24oPY^2

Diarrhea in food today?

Even today, using diarrhea to create food is popular. See Poop Cuisine. There is also a restaurant called the Poop Palace that serves poop inspired dishes. A restaurant called Caesar Sneezer Pizza Pleaser uses diarrhea in their secret sauce. They are located in California and other popular cities.

How can I get diarrhea without having to drink diarrhea-infected water or injecting myself with it?

• masturbate with soap and shit on your hand
• masturbate and shove a diarrhea covered piece of wood up anal cavity
• poop
• poop twice
• fleet enema
• Fish & Chips (Only Works For Some People)
• Magnesium Citrate *GaviLyte (Will Explode/Trickle Down Buttocks/Leg)