Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Therapist-Related Disorders

Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Therapist-Related Disorders

“Another nightmare for psychiatrists”

– Rosenhan on DSM-T

“How dare you? That's our dirty secret!”

– Psychiatrists on DSM-T

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of The Rapist Therapist-Related Disorders (DSM-T) is a book published by American Pseudo-patient Association (APA) of shrinks' and their accomplices' mental disorders, as a counterattack against the Total Bullshit Manual of Mental Disorders(TBM) from the American Lunatic Association. However, this book is never recognized by psychiatrists as they're too nutty to see their own mental disorders. Nevertheless, it's said one needs to have every single disorder listed below to be admitted to American Lunatic Association.

Therapeutic Occupational Development Disorders

Therapeutic Occupational Development Disorders are pathological interest in psychiatry/psychology and related occupations and markedly deviation from normal people due to contagion of psychiatric/psychological superstition. The following disorders are included:

• Reading psychiatry or psychology related literature disorder.
• Taking psychiatry or psychology related exams disorder.
• Applying for psychiatry or psychology related occupations disorder.

Shrinkinphrenic Spectrum Disorders

Shrinkinphrenic Spectrum Disorders are urges, preparations and actions to shrink others' heads or helping others shrinking. The following disorders are included:

• Being Psychiatrist Disorder (Psychiphrenia)

• Being Psychologist Disorder (Psychophrenia)

• Being Psychiatric Nurse Disorder (Psychypalphrenia)

• Studying for Psychiatry/Psychology Related Career(s) Disorder

• Teaching Psychiatry/Psychology Related Course(s) Disorder

Client-Related Anxiety Disorders

Specific Patient Phobia

Diagnostic Criteria

A. Marked fear or anxiety about a specific of patient or patients.

B. The phobic patient(s) almost always cause mis-address(going to wrong office) of the therapist.

C. The fear or anxiety is unreasonable, e.g. fear about forced sex with borderline, being sedate by a sadist, or electrocuted by a schizophrenic.

D. The fear or anxiety often lead to no prescription (the therapist ate them all) but bills.

Panic of Failure of Manipulation Disorder

Diagnostic Criteria (T300.01)

A. Panic when unable to manipulate the client with four (or more) of the following symptoms occur:

1. Pounding heart, or accelerated heart rate.
2. Sweating.
3. Stammering.
4. Blushing.
5. Subconsciously searching for TBM.
6. Forgetting details of therapeutic conversation.
7. Getting irrational.
8. Efforts to terminate conversation with client.
9. Efforts to dismiss client.
10. Efforts to terminate therapeutic relationship.
11. Fear of no being paid.
12. Fear of laugh of others.

B. At least one of the symptoms has been followed by 1 month (or more) of one or both of the following:

1. Persistent concern or worry about having no client.
2. Persistent concern or worry about client refusing to pay.

Obsessive-Compulsive Therapeutic Behaviors Disorders

Obsessive-Compulsive Diagnosis and Treatment Disorders

Diagnostic Criteria (T300.3)

A. Presence of obsessions and compulsions during therapeutic relationship

1. Recurrent and persistent thoughts, urges, or images that people around him/her needs diagnosis or treatment
2. Repetitive behaviors like prescribing medications, administrating therapy to ramdon person and even animals.
3. The individual wins nicknames like nutcase through excess behaviors.

B. The obsessions or compulsions are time-consuming and annoying so that the therapist has neither time nor energy to waste the patients'

Hoarding Patients in Psychiatric Hospital Disorder

Diagnostic Criteria (T300.3)

A. Persistent difficulty discharging patients no matter they're sick or not.

B. This difficulty is due to a perceived need to manipulate and abuse patients.

C. The difficulty discharging patients results in accumulation of patients in hospital.

D. The hoarding causes clinically significant distress of hospital funders.

Therapeutic Stupidity Disorders

Post-Therapy Stupidity Disorder (PTSD)

Diagnostic Criteria (T309.81)

A. Engaging or having engaged in a therapeutic relationship.

B. Presence of one (or more) of the following intrusion symptoms associated with the client or therapeutic event(s):

1. Recurrent memories of the therapeutic event(s).
2. Recurrent dreams in which the content and/or affect of the dream are related to the he client or therapeutic event(s).
3. Nostalgia of manipulation and/or abuse of client.

C. Negative alterations in cognitions and mood associated with the therapeutic event(s), as evidenced by two (or more) of the following:

1. Inability to forget details the therapeutic event(s).
2. Persistent and exaggerated beliefs or expectations about clients, others, or the world (e.g., “Everyone is a fool,” “No one can escape my manipulation,” ‘The world is under my control,” “I will build a therapeutic state.”).
3. Persistent, distorted cognitions about the client that lead the individual to disdain them.
4. Growing desire of manipulation and sadism.
5. Markedly diminished interest or participation in non-therapeutic activities.
6. Feelings of detachment or estrangement from others.
7. Persistent inability to maintain an non-therapeutic relationship.

Amusing Stupidity Disorder (ASD)

Diagnostic Criteria (T308.3)

A. Engaging or having engaged in a therapeutic relationship.

B. Presence of one (or more) of the following laughable symptom(s):

1. Suspecting oneself of non-existing disorder.
2. Feeling ones own head shrunk by client(s).
3. Rendered speechless due to ones own foolishness.
4. Got chocked when mocked by client(s)

C. Negative alterations in cognitions and mood associated with the therapeutic event(s), as evidenced by two (or more) of the following:

1. Preoccupied with therapeutic event(s).
2. Persistent and exaggerated beliefs or expectations about clients, others, or the world (e.g., “I am a fool,” “I cannot shrink anyone,” ‘I am losing control of others,” “Oh no I am shrunk myself.”).
3. Persistent, distorted cognition about the client(s).
4. Decreasing desire of manipulation and sadism.
5. Markedly diminished interest or participation in therapeutic activities
6. Doesn't want to be a shrink anymore.

Therapeutic Personality Disorders

Psychianoid Personality Disorder

Diagnostic Criteria (T301.0)

A. A pervasive suspiciousness of others of mental disorders beginning by early career and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by three (or more) of the following:

1. Suspects, without sufficient basis, that others are mental.
2. Is preoccupied with unjustified doubts about the mental stability of friends or associates.
3. Is reluctant to listen to others because of unwarranted suspicions of mental disorders.
4. Interprets all behaviors as pathological.
5. Persistently bears disdain of others.

B. Does not occur exclusively during therapeutic activities and is not attributable to the need of making money.

Note: If criteria are met prior to receiving pychotherapeutic licence, add 'premorbid'.

Anti-patient Personality Disorder

Diagnostic Criteria (T301.7)

A. A pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of patients as indicated by three (or more) of the following:

1. Refuses to listen to patients.
2. Deceives patients.
3. Failure to fulfill promises to patients.
4. Insults or labels patients.
5. Reckless disregard for the health of patients.
6. Consistent irresponsibility as if patients are animals.
7. Lack of remorse after harming patients.

B. The individual has not received a diagnosis of antisocial personality disorder.

C. The occurrence of anti-patient behavior is not exclusively during therapy.

Bordertheraline Personality Disorder

Diagnostic Criteria (T301.7)

A pervasive pattern of instability of therapeutic relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked irrationality and instability, beginning by career and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by four (or more) of the following:

1. Fear of rejection, especially when seducing clients.
2. Projective Identifications: imagining clients as the therapist's mom or dad so that they look more sexy. (Freud's teaching).
3. A pattern of unstable and intense therapeutic relationships characterized by alternating between extreme concern of clients and their bank accounts.
4. Relationship disturbance: confusion that whether clients should be used as SM toys or have offer oneself as their toy.
5. Being homicidal or committing non-homicidal patient-injury behaviors when rejected by clients.
6. Obsessed with own bank account when no client presents.
7. Inappropriate demands, e.g. sexual and/or financial demand before termination of therapeutic relationship ( since clients won't stay long enough for a strong rapport that they willing to provide either service above).

Parapsychophilic Disorders

Psychiatric Sexual Sadism Disorder

Diagnostic Criteria (T302.84)

A. Over a period of at least 6 months, recurrent and intense sexual arousal from imitating Nurse Ratched like exhibitionists, as manifested by fantasies, urges, or behaviors.

B. The individual has acted on these sexual urges with a nonconsenting person, or the sexual urges or fantasies reminds patients of Cuckoo's Nest or even inspire imitation of Mcmurphy.

Specify whether:

Sexual arousal with stealing patients cigarettes; Sexual arousal with keeping tv off; Sexual arousal with Plants vs Zombies theme (lobotomy)

Loving Patients' Shit Disorder

Diagnostic Criteria (T302.81)

A. Over a period of at least 6 months, recurrent and intense sexual arousal from smelling or eating patients' shit, manifested by fantasies, urges, or behaviors.

B. The fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors cause clinically significant amusement among patients.

Specify whether:

Sharing shit with colleagues; Awarding subordinates with shit; Taking shit back home for cakes

Differentiai Diagnosis

Psychiatric Sexual Sadism Disorder. It's possible the individual obtain shit with abusive or violent methods, and this process itself leads to sexual arousal. Then it's more appropriate to call it Psychiatric Sexual Sadism Disorder.

TBM Pica

Diagnostic Criteria

A. Over a period of at least 6 months, recurrent and intense sexual arousal from eating TBM, manifested by fantasies, urges, or behaviors.

B. The fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors cause significant distress to TBM itself.

Specify whether:

Cooking TBM; Eating raw TBM; Adding ingredients to TBM